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Posted by on April 20, 2009

And the claws come out…

It’s amazing to me how, whenever a new study or story about parenting methods come out, claws inevitably come out. It doesn’t matter if the topic is breastfeeding, pacifiers, TV, stay-at-home vs. working moms, co-sleeping, or cry it out.

Case in point: a new study apparently showing an increase in sleep related accidental suffocation in infants. OMG co-sleeping with your baby will kill your baby! And of course the claws come out on both sides, with accusations flying, and name-calling from both sides.

Um, no. Not necessarily, not if you do it right.

There are risks to co-sleeping, to be sure, but those risks can be minimized, and really, there are always risks in life. Babies die in cribs too, or have people forgotten?

I thought, before I got pregnant with Kyle, that being a mother was a special club. Once I got pregnant, and started reading up on things, I began to realize that mothers are quicker than anybody else to tear another mother down. Yes, I sleep with my kid in my bed. I have since he was four days old, and he’s still alive, and kicking (a lot), and he is perfectly fine. I plan on co-sleeping with this second one too, though there will have to be adjustments, such as getting rid of my heavy blanket, and excess pillows, and putting the bed up against the wall, hopefully. To me, the benefits of co-sleeping outweigh the risks. If that’s different for another mom, that’s fine, whatever floats her boat.

But, really, I guess it is a wonder to me how mothers, who are theoretically supposed to be so supportive to one another, can be so mean sometimes.

Science changes, opinions change, parenting advice from “officials” change. Some of what Kyle’s pediatrician tells me 100% contradicts what my mother has told me to do. So, I go with my gut. I mean, I’m alive, so my mother must’ve done something right when I was a kid. But at the same time, it’s my turn now, and I can only do what I feel is right, and not what other people think I SHOULD do.

New moms have enough on their plate already. I hope that every new mom, beginning from the time of their pregnancy, can find a supportive group of people in which they feel comfortable with, both in sharing ideas, and in giving and receiving advice.

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1 Comment »

  1. Hi there – love the podcast!

    I think it’s sad that women forget that we aren’t statistics and that everyone’s mileage may vary depending on their choices, lifestyle, etc.

    Me? I’m the worst co-sleeping mother on earth. I co-slept for the first three months of both babies’ lives by putting them half on a pillow in between my husband and myself. So many no-nos! LOL

    Only once did my husband wake up to find he’d been sleeping on the baby’s foot. Everyone was fine and it never happened again.

    It’s a shame that moms can’t support one another even when their choices are vastly different, but at least with the Internet it’s easier to find a group of women who WILL support your choices :)

    Comment by jennydecki — April 28, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

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