Posted by Meagan Church on February 24, 2012

Au Revoir, Newborn Fears

I’ll be honest; I’m not much of a newborn fan. At least generally speaking. I prefer the stage when they get a bit older, more interactive and independent. Or at least that’s how it has been in the past. When Jonas was born, I was overwhelmed and afraid. I didn’t know what to do with this little, helpless, crying kid. I feared the day when Matt’s paternity leave would end and I’d be left alone with this little creature. Of course that day eventually came and I somehow figured things out, though I was a bit tentative and uneasy at first.

When Kenna came along, I was still worn out from Jonas. I wasn’t really sure I was up for another baby, but we wanted them to be two years apart. Jonas was such a bad sleeper that I was still exhausted from him. Nevertheless, Kenna joined us and then we decided to put our house on the market when she was only a few months old. That meant I was especially exhausted and much of her babyhood is a bit of a blur to me.

I didn’t know if I was ready for a third child, but away we went. Would I remember what to do with a newborn? Would I be able to survive on less-than-ideal sleep? Then Adelyn was born. From day one, I felt at ease. Sure some of it was knowing how to change a diaper, initiate nursing and care for the umbilical cord. I’d been there and done that. I have enjoyed her first three weeks more that I did with the other two babies combined. Gone are the hesitations and even the exhaustion I felt with the first two. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still tired, but it’s different.

I know some of the reason for the change is because I am more experienced now. Plus, Adelyn is a laid back baby who sleeps pretty well for a newborn. But also I know that this is our last newborn (unless God has other plans for us). So I’m enjoying it while I can. At the end of pregnancy when I was huge and heavy, I tried to revel in those last moments of pregnancy, knowing I wouldn’t experience it again. I’m glad I took notice because I admit I miss feeling those baby movements.

And so, while I do still look forward to the day when our family of five can go on a vacation and build memories that all of us will recall, I’m not going to wish away this newborn stage. I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to look at how cute those little feet are and be amazed by the tininess of her ears. I’m going to sit with her and hold her as much as possible, and comfort her when she cries. I’m going to relax and nurse her while I can because soon enough these days will be far behind us. While that means I might be sleeping through the night, it also means I won’t have a cuddly little infant grasping my finger and looking to me for care and comfort.

1 Comment »

1. This is lovely! What a good reminder.

   Comment by Rachel — March 1, 2012 @ 1:43 pm

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