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Posted by KristaRae on August 8, 2009
It’s hard to believe that by next spring I will be a mother of two, 19 months apart!
Today, I’m a little more than 10 weeks pregnant, feeling more sick this time around. Maybe it’s because I’m worn out from chasing my 12 month old around the house, or maybe I really am having more sickness. But suffice it to say, I am exhausted! I have even taken a hiatus from cloth diapering, because I can’t handle the smell of the diaper pail.
My husband and I made the decision several months ago to start trying to conceive, but because I’m still nursing my son, I wasn’t certain I would get pregnant before weaning. But lo and behold, on my birthday in June, two little pink lines gave me the shock of a lifetime! It actually took several days for me to believe that I wasn’t seeing things or that the tests (yes, multiple…like five or six) weren’t faulty. It was finally that beautiful digital result test that made me a believer!
We told our immediate family right away, and slowly told some friends (more than we first intended to tell). Two weeks ago we had our first appointment with my midwife, saw that adorable little bean on a sonogram, and heard the most amazing sound – the precious sound of our baby’s heartbeat! On our way home from the appointment, we posted the following announcement video that we made while at the beach:
As this begins to feel more real, I’ll share some more details of the difference between this pregnancy and my first. But I would love to hear from other moms who are pregnant and have other young children. How are you dealing with juggling your older children and your symptoms?
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Posted by Julia P on July 29, 2009
It’s funny (well, not really), but in this past week, it’s almost become a routine: I wake up, I ask myself, “Do I feel any different?” The answer is no, I curse, and then I check my iPhone (which is laying next to me in bed), and inevitably there is a text, or a comment on facebook or twitter, or an email asking, “Have you had that baby YET?” So I get on twitter, or facebook, or email, and say “Nope, no baby yet.”
I’ve been pregnant for almost 42 weeks.
Not that I really mind, physically. I still feel great, and I really do love being pregnant. If it wasn’t for the complications that a pitocin induced labor could potentially mean for my vbac, I wouldn’t mind at all. And if it wasn’t for the fact that placentas have a natural lifespan of about 42 weeks, I could carry her forever. (Okay, slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean).
When I first found out that I would have to be induced this Thursday, I was a wreck. I wailed. I couldn’t sleep, I was very, very negative. All of the planning that I did, all of the books I read, all of the people I talked to in order to get a vbac…and I was going to be induced. My other choice was a c-section, which to me, wasn’t a choice at all. Of course, an induction is still a vbac…it’s just I was also hoping for a NATURAL vbac, and so I was afraid that the pitocin would blow that part out of the water. Not only that, I was induced the first time, with an unripe cervix, and I fully believe that’s what caused my emergency c-section, to a certain extent. So, initially, an induction meant a repeat c-section to me, and I was devastated.
I’ve since had some time to reflect, and also, to develop a ripened cervix. The last time I was checked by the midwife, I was told I was starting to open! Which, even if she doesn’t make it out in two days on her own, is still a very, very good thing, because it at least means my body is (more) ready to have the baby this time.
Not only that, I’ve come to think of the induction process somewhat differently than I did before. Because I had been absolutely against induction when I first found out, I viewed the attending OB who suggested it, and even my midwife, a little, as the enemy. The medical establishment was, once again, taking away my role in the birth process. Last time, I was a first time mother, and I didn’t know any better, and I let them do whatever they wanted to me. This time, I was going to fight them, dagnabbit! But really, once the anger passed, and the more I thought about it, it’s not like that. While the birth isn’t starting out the way I wanted it to, I need not allow my whole plan to derail. That’s another thing I learned as a second time mother: just trust your gut. I don’t plan to go to the hospital that morning hostile. That would be stupid. But I do plan on talking to the doctor that day, and telling him that I am not his patient (because I’m not). Perhaps in every other type of practice, there are patients, and there are doctors. But in this labor process, he and I are partners. I know he has had many years of training, and seen many cases and women, but this is my child, this is my body, and this is only going to be a good experience for all three of us if I can trust him. And I can only trust him if he respects me. If something needs to be done, explain to me why. If I don’t want something to be done, and it’s not absolutely necessary for the health of myself or my child, then respect my wishes.
I refuse to be a bystander at my own child’s birth. I am not a patient, I am a partner.
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Posted by Leyna on July 19, 2009
Before we were mothers we probably never had the experience of being sucked on, chewed on, pinched, scratched, bitten, peed on or… pooped on! We might have minded before too. Now it seems that we’ll gladly take anything our child can throw at us and wear it like a badge of honor!
Nolan, now 9 months old, was ready for a bath. So I did the usual–get the water ready, strip him down to his diaper, get the towels and soap ready. As we all figure out pretty quickly, the diaper is the very last thing to go right before we put them in the water. I took off his diaper and walked him over to the tub. Before I could sit him down in it I felt something growing in my hand–the hand that held his little bottom. As soon as I felt it I knew what had happened. I pull my hand away, and I was holding a hand full of poop! I tossed it into the toilet and washed my hands then went back to the duties of motherhood.
Is this really what I signed up for, I asked myself. But then just looking at Nolan’s face and that two-toothed smile reminds me in one-tenth of a second that the answer is yes! This is exactly what I signed up for!
Your turn. What has your little one done that made you squirm? Post a comment. I can’t wait to read them!
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Posted by Julia P on June 14, 2009
This post does not include cute pastel colors, or butterflies, or fairies, or cutesie baby dolls, or dresses, or fuzzy stuffed animals. It is not about little feet, or baby hiccups in the womb, or cute little kicks.
This is me, alone (or semi-alone, since my unborn daughter is telling her mama that she is awake right now), in front of the computer at 3 am, after having woken up crying at 1:30 am.
This is the part of pregnancy people don’t tell you about when you sign up for it.
Pregnancy isn’t always about that woman who stares down at her belly lovingly, and dreams of all the things that she and her new baby will do. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done that. I’m not sure I would say I *love* my daughter, yet, though I know I certainly will, once she gets here. And perhaps that’s part of the reason I’m feeling the way I do, which is overwhelmed, alone, and not *right*. I mean, SHOULDN’T I be all about fluffy animals, and cutesie baby clothes, and nesting right now? I only have a little bit more than five weeks left. Shouldn’t I be eager and ready to meet my daughter? So why am I feeling all this crazy anxiety, why am I thinking that I *can* wait to see my daughter, why am I waking up with tears streaking down my face, why am I feeling like the biggest loser in the world because I should be happier than I am about my baby? It’s not like I haven’t been feeling all those things, the happy ones, I mean. It’s just that, the closer she gets to being here, the bigger the worries loom. The apartment feels too small, what will my three-year-old think, budget cuts and financial woes at work. And then, and then there’s the guilt that comes with not being 100% happy that I am having a baby, since all the world seems to tell me that I *should* be extremely happy, simply because I am pregnant, and babies are gifts. My pregnancy was planned. My husband and I want another child. I’m not sure why I am feeling the way I am, exactly. Perhaps a combination of life stress, and also pregnancy hormones. Some form of ante-partum depression apparently affects about 10-20% of women who are pregnant, though a lot of them do not get diagnosed properly because there is the age old image of the “hormonal pregnant lady” who had crazy mood swings and cries at the drop of a hat. I’m not even sure that I’m saying I’m depressed. I’m not sure anyone will understand what I’m going through, since the image of the wonderfully happy pregnant woman is extremely powerful, and perhaps people won’t understand why I would feel sad at all. I guess, I guess I just feel as though I should feel okay to have negative feelings during pregnancy, without feeling like I’m flying in the face of years of Gerber and Johnson and Johnson commercials, and this post is my way of telling myself that it will be okay.
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Posted by Leyna on June 9, 2009
I am really taking advantage of the opportunity that has been bestowed upon me to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). My husband and I realized that my $45,000 salary as a third-year teacher would now pay me $2.50 per hour once you consider the cost of working. We included childcare, convenience food, dry cleaning, gas, toll fees, clothes, urgent care, and the like; all the bottom the the barrel cost for each of these things. After the time I invested in going to school and starting my career, I would be making – at the most – $2.50 an hour. Talk about a hit in the gut! Not to mention that the parent-child time with Nolan will be reduced to 3 hours while he is awake which is when he needs to be bathed, fed, changed.
What really did it for my husband was comparing the differences we would see in our family time day-to-day. Right now, he walks in the door at 6:30. The dogs have been walked; something has been cleaned; dinner has been figured out, started, and a least half way done; Nolan has eaten dinner, been bathed, and changed, and errands have been done. My husband gets half-an-hour of quality playtime with Nolan while I finish up in the kitchen before I put Nolan down for the night. If I were working, we’d come home at 5:00-6:30 and we’d have to answer the dreaded question: “What’s for dinner?” And all those things I mentioned before would have to be done before Nolan’s bedtime at 7:00. That begs the question, who’s doing the laundry and when?
I have found a network of highly educated SAHM’s who have also come to this conclusion. They have found articles in business journals that have supported the stay-at-home parent concept. If both parents are working neither can focus on the monetary success of the family. If one parent is truly taking on the responsibility of the home, the working parent is more likely to be happier and more productive at work. They get picked for the big projects, given the promotion, and rewarded the over-time that they can take without worrying about their responsibilities at home.
I know that the stay-at-home parent is logically the one who makes less money–husband or wife. It was not an easy decision especially since our “standard-of-spending” has taken a hit. But it greatly increases our “standard-of-caring” for each other. As archaic as this set up sounds, it works for us. I know not everyone has this option especially with the economic climate. World News Tonight just reported that the work of a stay-at-home parent does over $100,000 of work each year. I just tell my family how lucky we are everyday and hope to keep it that way.
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Posted by royce on April 30, 2009
We are excited about a new birth… the birth of a new podcast, New Moms, New Babies! Yup, just in time for Mother’s Day. A weekly podcast by new moms, for new moms with tips, tricks and sanity savers on sleeping, feeding, crying and more! Future guests include, doctors, pediatricians, authors, experts on child seat safety, strollers, baby carriers, activities and more! Friendly advice, various perspectives and relevant information to get you through those first years. Available in iTunes and on the web at www.newmomsnewbabies.com
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Posted by Julia P on April 20, 2009
It’s amazing to me how, whenever a new study or story about parenting methods come out, claws inevitably come out. It doesn’t matter if the topic is breastfeeding, pacifiers, TV, stay-at-home vs. working moms, co-sleeping, or cry it out.
Um, no. Not necessarily, not if you do it right.
There are risks to co-sleeping, to be sure, but those risks can be minimized, and really, there are always risks in life. Babies die in cribs too, or have people forgotten?
I thought, before I got pregnant with Kyle, that being a mother was a special club. Once I got pregnant, and started reading up on things, I began to realize that mothers are quicker than anybody else to tear another mother down. Yes, I sleep with my kid in my bed. I have since he was four days old, and he’s still alive, and kicking (a lot), and he is perfectly fine. I plan on co-sleeping with this second one too, though there will have to be adjustments, such as getting rid of my heavy blanket, and excess pillows, and putting the bed up against the wall, hopefully. To me, the benefits of co-sleeping outweigh the risks. If that’s different for another mom, that’s fine, whatever floats her boat.
Science changes, opinions change, parenting advice from “officials” change. Some of what Kyle’s pediatrician tells me 100% contradicts what my mother has told me to do. So, I go with my gut. I mean, I’m alive, so my mother must’ve done something right when I was a kid. But at the same time, it’s my turn now, and I can only do what I feel is right, and not what other people think I SHOULD do.
New moms have enough on their plate already. I hope that every new mom, beginning from the time of their pregnancy, can find a supportive group of people in which they feel comfortable with, both in sharing ideas, and in giving and receiving advice.
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Posted by KristaRae on April 10, 2009
It’s hard to believe how quickly babies grow and develop over their first year of life. I guess it shouldn’t be so shocking, given how much growth occurs during nine months in the womb, but I never cease to be amazed by my son. He is 8.5 months old now and has learned so many new things in the past six weeks! As he learns, I learn as well and adjust to the new challenges my little daredevil throws my way.
In the past six weeks, my son Miles has learned to sit up unassisted, crawl, roll over very quickly from back to tummy, and (the latest development) pull up to standing. His new found mobility has totally changed my day-to-day life! No longer can I put him down on an activity mat, leave the room, and expect him to be there when I come back! The days of a quick trip to the bathroom while he plays on the floor are over!
It’s so funny the things he finds fascinating. We have found that our cell phone and laptop cords elicit the fastest crawling response time from Miles – I had no idea he could move so quickly! And anything that belongs to our dogs seems to have a baby magnet in it!
His crawling improves daily, but for now he is working hard on standing. This latest endeavor has totally thrown me for a loop. He still has to hold on to sturdy objects and he doesn’t know how to get back down once he is up. So I can no longer put him in his crib for a quick trip down the hall without returning to see him standing up and crying – quite the pitiful sight. And with standing comes falling. I think the greatest advice about babies I have ever received was to clap and cheer when the baby has a little tumble. Most of the time he giggles at us, gets back up, and thinks it is great fun.
Here is a short video from DadLabs that might give you some ideas.
One piece of advice that I should have followed was to baby proof early, before your baby is mobile. I am still finding things that I now realize could be rather dangerous for Miles! This standing ability has given me a whole new level to baby proof! So I would like to know…
What was or will be your process for baby proofing? How do you deal with the new challenges that your baby’s new skills bring to your life?
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Posted by Leyna on April 7, 2009
I got to thinking after we recorded our catchup show where I talked about being overwhelmed with advice and feeling inadequate in what I am doing. Different types of moms came up in the show. I can think of quite a few categories, and of course we all have a little of each one of those in us.
The Consumer Mom: Has a solution for everything by buying a new product.
The Organic Mom: Nothing that remotely considered a chemical enters the house. Everything must be “All Natural” (whatever that means!)
The Attached At The Hip Mom: Won’t leave her baby with anyone and has a nervous wreck when she leaves the baby even with her husband. She can often be found with her little one in tow in the most inappropriate places, like at her next gyn appointment.
The Researched Mom a.k.a The Paranoid Mom: Will forward any and all news articles, press releases, blogs, and other notifications of any kind of recall, toxins, and potential harmful products and/or activities. She also has the doctor’s cell phone on speed dial.
I Know What’s Best Mom: Thinks she knows how to solve any baby related problem and can’t figure out why her way hasn’t worked for you.
The Complaining Mom: Really does not want any solutions, not even suggestions. She just wants the right to complain. (It must be residual from being pregnant!)
The I’ll Do It Mom: You name the activity, she’s there! You ask for help, she’s there! And in every baby class you attend, she’s there!
And the dreaded….
Competitive Mom: She’s the one who keeps track of all your baby’s developmental milestones to determine what kind of parent you are and how smart your baby is. Just keep reminding yourself that this mom is not so worried about your kid and stressing about her own.
Honestly, I don’t know where I fit in the most, but I can tell you that I am guilty of all of the above and have a friend that I could put into each category (except for the Competitive Mom). I found categorizing a great way to not take advice so seriously since it’s just part of our mom personality and not directed at me personally.
What kind of mom are you? Is there a type I have yet to encounter and describe? Give us your thoughts!
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Posted by KristaRae on March 10, 2009
About three weeks ago, my husband and I began using cloth diapers with our seven month old baby boy. We did it mainly to save money, because we are really starting to batten the hatches on our budget. I am a stay at home mom, so we have made some financial sacrifices in order to keep me at home.
Why didn’t we cloth diaper from the beginning? It’s kind of a long story, but the short version is that our housing and work situation was pretty uncertain until after our son was born. We lived someplace without an accessible washer and dryer for almost six months, which wouldn’t have worked very well! Our switch to cloth corresponded with the next size of diapers, so it really was timed quite nicely.
If you know anything about modern day cloth diapering, you know that there are many options for cloth diapering. There are fitted diapers, pocket diapers, all-in-ones, prefolds, as well as other types. Many parents choose to use several types of diapers and find that different types of diapers are best suited for different situations. For instance, a mom might use prefolds with covers during the day but use a more absorbent pocket diaper at night. In addition to the many types, there are large variations in pricing. Most would agree that prefolds (used with covers) are the most economical option, while all-in-ones are pricier but offer excellent coverage and leak protection.
I give you this primer in a paragraph to give you a little background on my decision-making process. We decided to go with prefold diapers with fitted covers (using a Snappi fastener) because of our budget. We have been using disposable diapers at night and during our very hectic move.
I’ll be sharing more about my cloth diapering experiences as we go along, but at this point, I can confidently say that we made a great decision by switching! I love how resourceful I feel, knowing that I’m not generating so much waste. I really enjoy not having to buy so many diapers and I love how cute my little baby’s bum looks in his diaper covers! I was really nervous about the whole washing process and how it would go with really dirty diapers, but I have been pleasantly surprised by the simplicity of it all. Now that the weather is warming up here in Kentucky, I plan to line dry the diapers to extend their life.
While I am by no means a cloth diapering pro (I am barely an expert on cloth diapering my son with the tools I have), I would be happy to answer any questions that anyone has about using cloth diapers. There are tons of very helpful websites out there for general as well as specific cloth diapering questions. If you are cloth diapering, I would love to hear your words of wisdom!
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Posted by Host Patti on March 3, 2009
Christina was back in the PregTASTIC house sharing her birthing story this week. During our visit she mentioned how her OB changed from mild mannered, soft spoken doctor to stern, drill sergeant doctor when she asked about possibly having a VBAC. What?! Well, seems her doc would prefer what seems to be the norm these days, staying as far away from VBAC as possible.
A recent show we did with Dr. Thomas Moore came up in conversation, during which he spoke about VBACs including the benefits, the risks (compared to a repeat C) and why so many doctors just won’t do VBAC. After the show, I came across this recent TIME article, The Trouble With Repeat Cesareans which speaks to the “VBAC-lash” and how women are being denied the VBAC option.
Ultimately Christina was more comfortable going for the repeat C instead of VBAC as I was. Though miniscule to some, the risk of uterine rupture was too high for me. Christina’s birthing story again reminded me how several factors along with medical risks and benefits come into play when deciding which childbirth route we take and that each of us have varied personal experiences which frame our equally valid decisions.
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Posted by Host Patti on February 6, 2009
What brought you back to feeling like you after your baby was born? To my surprise, I didn’t realize I wasn’t myself until about seven months after my son was born when I said some smartass comment to Royce while having a beer and enjoying the laziness of a baseball game with him. Royce nonchalantly took notice that the woman he married was actually back. And it was only at that moment that I realized I hadn’t been me for way too long. It was a refreshing feeling to finally be back in the swing of being Patti, not only a mother of a new baby and the wife of Royce, but also just me. What a long haul it was.
So when I was pregnant with baby #2 I was adamant about keeping all aspects of me intact after Brooke was born and I had grand plans of what I needed to do. After the whirlwind days of her first few months I desperately tried squeezing in some me time within my exhausting days of momming two babes. Now with Brooke at 2.5 years old and Ty 4, I’m still a work in progress but this is what has brought me around sooner the second time than the first:
- Getting out before Royce goes to work to be alone, have a peaceful coffee and work out.
- Rejoining my moms group – of the original podcasters – after a hiatus during those overwhelming first months.
- Hiring our sitter to work almost full-time with us the first months. Best money I ever spent.
- Weekly date nights with Royce. Nothing fancy, just us time.
- Getting together with good friends who know me not only as mom of Ty and Brooke. More frequently, is something I’m still working on.
- Reading books that have nothing to do with parenting.
- Indulging in a lone happy hour at home during the kids’ witching hour.
What are your grand plans? What are you doing to get your mojo back?
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Posted by royce on January 27, 2009
When should a woman’s choice trump her Dr.’s or midwife’s? This question came up during the show with Dr. Moore as we talked about elective c-sections. Seems this topic has been in the news lately with a widely publicized study concluding that women should not have elective c-sections before week 39. Dr. Moore talked about the elective aspect of this being a gray sort of area, from “too posh to push” to medical reasons causing a vaginal delivery to lead to an unplanned, though requested at the time, c-section, and everything in between. Dr. Moore supported the study findings and shared specific reasons why babies and moms are better off waiting until week 39 for a planned c-section, although he says it’s ultimately best left to the fetus’ choice when to be born.
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Posted by admin on January 22, 2009
After 2+ years, way too long, instead of having more babies, we’ve turned to birthing this PregTASTIC blog! Here, members of PregTASTIC will share show information, links, products, thoughts on show topics and just plain ol’ fun pregnancy stuff! Feel free to join the conversation with comments below. Cheers to you and thanks for stopping by!
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