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Posted by Mary on August 30, 2010

Not exactly “2 for the price of 1″

It’s difficult to keep strangers from commenting on your pregnancy, even when only expecting one baby.  When two are on the way, I’ve found that the tongues wag quite a bit more.

“Two for the price of one”

“Buy one get one free”

“Two the easy way”

Those are the comments that drive me batty.  When you are expecting twins, you’ll hear all of these and much more.  I’m not truly enormous yet, so I’m sure as things progress the pithy comments will take on a more sinister tone.  For now, I grin and bear it and wish the well-meaning strangers had a clue.

If only it were true…

Oh, if only I’d really get 2 for the price of 1!  That would mean I’d have a delightfully easy, blissful, healthy and sane pregnancy resulting in a delivery of epic happiness when 2 babies slipped into the world instead of just one.  In short, it’s not even close.

Twin pregnancies aren’t exactly grueling Everest climbs, but they are no stroll down smiley singleton lane either.  Perhaps it’s that my first pregnancy was a pretty mellow affair and my body just couldn’t live up to that ideal more than once.  I had a 9+ month respite from the migraines that have plagued me since puberty, I was well-rested and healthfully nourished, never hungover or addled from lack of sleep (until the last 4 weeks).

This time around I’m back in headache hell with no available meds.  My veins are bursting all over my body, so surely they are doing the same in my cranium.  Of course the pain and throbbing lead to sleep loss and general malaise, short-temper and decided lack of libido.

Dude, where’s my libido?

Oh how I miss the second trimester libido surge from pregnancy #1!  My husband and I were apart for the first 6 months of my last pregnancy with the exception of a 2-week romp in Hawaii.  It was the babymoon of my dreams.  He had a conference to attend, my job was to get a tan and get some sweet lovin’.  Needless to say, the first few weeks of this trimester haven’t been anywhere near so frisky.  I think my husband is probably more disappointed than I am this time around, but we were both looking forward to some good pregnancy sex.

I’m not even sure if it’s only the hormones.  Has anyone ever told you that you someday won’t recognize your own parts?  Didn’t happen to me until the very end last time.  Now I’m living with a stranger down below and I’m not happy about it — I’m swollen, smelly, strangely juicy and just not attractive.  What with weight gain, acne and the uncharted topography of my nether regions, it’s not easy to feel sexy.

Exhaustion certainly plays a big part as well – our 18 month old takes up all the “spare” energy I have.  And there’s something to be said for being “touched-out”.  I never gave it much credence before but when I spend all day hugging and loving my daughter, I don’t really feel the drive for physical affection with my husband.  It’s terrible and I need to do something about it, for both our sakes!

Measuring weeks ahead

As of this writing I’m 17 weeks pregnant with the twins.  My stomach is measuring a whopping 40″, about 11 inches more than pre-pregnancy.  I’ve gained 14 lbs and look to be 6 months along. Check out the comparison shots.  The one where I’m wearing the brown shirt is 22 weeks with singleton, the black shirt is 17 weeks with twins.  Yep, I look about 6 months now, don’t I?

It’s typical for moms of multiples to measure anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks ahead of schedule.  I read that, I understood that, I was prepared for that.  Until it happened.  It’s almost shocking to see myself in the mirror.  Last time, I didn’t really need maternity clothes until about 20 weeks.  Now the zippered-fly is a thing of the past, I’ve been in elastic waist heaven for months now.

What to wear?

Since I’m not planning on being pregnant again after this (famous last words, right?), I don’t want to buy any new maternity wear.  But dang, I was big so much earlier than the last time that I had to incorporate a whole new season of clothes. Thank goodness I’m living in America this time around and there are “Mommy and Me”-type consignment stores.  Nobody wants maternity clothes after a while!   I just hope I can make it to the end without having to raid my husband’s closet.  He’s a foot taller than I am, so it would be comical.  I guess leggings and muumuus will be my signature look.

Two for the price of what, exactly?

No one can tell you what exactly to expect from your pregnancy.  There are volumes printed on what could happen, but each pregnancy is different.  My twins will be loved regardless of all the crap I could complain about.  Truth is, I’ll be gushing like every other new mom in no time.

They are starting to move a lot more and that alone is such a thrill.  There’s something so magical about feeling your baby move in your belly.  I just loved feeling my daughter move and would poke her to get her going if she seemed to slow down.  I knew I’d miss it after she was born.  Now I have two little monkeys vying for space and figuring each other out.  I’m pretty sure there will be double pleasure in this pregnancy after all.

Posted by Lyssa on August 30, 2010

My Happiest Place on Earth

We’re going to Walt Disney World! And I’ll be 28 weeks pregnant…gestational insanity you might say?? Perhaps, but it is my family’s favorite place and we can’t get there fast enough. Is Disney World a crazy vacation destination for a pregnant woman? I say, it’s perfect!

It has been a crazy summer here in NJ–hot and humid like none in recent memory, great preparation for Florida’s weather. I have been working a lot this summer. I need to accrue a certain number of hours to be eligible for maternity leave. A trip to the moon would be fantastic if it means some time off from work–this mama needs a break!

There is something to be said for going someplace familiar. This will be Quinn’s 8th trip to Disney (he is 5). We know our way around and feel relatively safe here. We know the food, the best places to relax and enjoy a Mickey-shaped ice cream bar and where to score free glasses of ice water… I can find the drugstore, the Urgent Care Center (yeah, been there, done that before) and the hospital. Especially while pregnant, I am not a fan of the unfamiliar.

Disney is a place where the average daily walk is about 8 miles. There are thrill rides, temperature extremes and some outstanding adult beverages. It goes without saying that some adjustments will need to be made to accommodate my “condition”. There are also many small details that can easily be missed in and around the World when caught up in the usual frenetic pace of touring–this will be a good time to stop and smell the proverbial roses.

My husband and I made many trips to Disney World with dreams of bringing our children–it took a while–but we have relished every trip with Quinn. Knowing the joy of sharing Disney with him, we hoped to have another child to add to the mix and it is finally about to happen. One of Disney’s slogans is “Where Dreams come true”, I am a believer. The pace of this vacation may be slow and I will likely be able to write a tour guide (or at least an ode) to the restrooms on Disney property–but I am so excited to spend some quality time with my favorite people in my favorite place on earth.

Posted by Leyna on August 29, 2010

The Swagger Wagon

I’ll be the first one to admit that I don’t like to spend money. I buy stuff on Craigslist, will wait for a good coupon, return to boutiques who offer me discounts, and research exactly what I want to buy. I proudly drove a 2007 Prius and thought everyone else should too.

However, my photography buisness is growing, and so are the kids. One day I had camera equipment, beach gear (because the shoot was at the beach and my babies were invited to come along) which included an umbrella, diaper bag, sand toys, beach bag, BOB single stroller, and lunch. So with two kids under two I was making it work.

I don’t know what started the minivan craze but it took over my brain. Slowly and surely. Well, on Tuesday I waved a very sad goodbye to my Prius and took the keys of my very own USED 2006 Toyota Sienna XLE.

I have friends who would never drive a minivan. I’d never drive an SUV.

Thanks to the “Sienna Family” I’m driving my “Swagger Wagon” with a confident smirk on my face.

The biggest difference I noticed was that I’m not bending over or reaching so high with 30 pound toddler in my arms while wrestling the little guys into their car seats.

The XLE has quite a few bells and whistles that I didn’t even realize how nice those were to have on the family car. The doors have sun shades that roll up on to the windows. The driver has an extra rear view mirror to see the back seats. And the doors slide open and closed automatically. No slamming fingers into door frames. Cup holders are everywhere. It’s made for families. No DVD player, bluetooth, or backup camera. All of which would be nice to have, but for the price tag on this particular vehicle it was a steel.

I loaded it up with quite a bit of stuff today. In fact, I still need to empty it. But I’ve officially joined the ranks of motherhood.

Now, “Where my Mother-Fathers at?”

Posted by Mary on August 28, 2010

First Trimester: Singleton vs. Twin

While pregnant the first time a little over two years ago, I became hooked on PregTASTIC podcasts.  It was a lovely pregnancy with a delivery exactly as I’d hoped. My daughter, Maya, is just about 19 months old now.  I know we both benefited from the information and stories shared on PregTASTIC.

Fast forward and I’m pregnant again.  After one run at the mommy game, I figured I was an expert.  But that didn’t last long as I learned I’m expecting twins!  PregTASTIC hasn’t had much info on multiple pregnancies before, so I decided to stop being a casual listener and share my experience.

Here’s a run-down of the first trimester in both pregnancies.

Basics

Then: 31, married 3 yrs, living in Japan, part-time Fitness Instructor and English Tutor

Now: 33, married 5 yrs, living in Rhode Island, stay-at-home mother of 1 daughter.  If I make it to the full 40-week due date, my twins will be born the day before my daughter’s second birthday.

Conception

My husband is active duty Navy and deploys regularly.  Because we’d like him to be present for the birth of our children, we’ve had to plan when to try to conceive very carefully. Luckily I’m crazy fertile and our planning has been spot-on. 

Then: I was off the pill exactly one cycle. My husband had been at sea for a few months and happened to come home a couple days early, catching me in a good ovulation zone.

Now: I was off birth control exactly one cycle.  We had discussed trying for a boy this time and I did some research into what that could possibly entail. One of the suggestions was to maximize sex timing for ovulation, so I was using Ovulation Predictor Kits.  I found the day I was ovulating (or would be within 24 hrs) and the rest is history.

Getting Positive Result

Then: I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.  I left it in the bathroom and forgot about it.  When I came back a few hours later, there were two lines.  So, I took another test the following morning and had a positive within the appropriate results timeframe.  My husband and I were together for that test and were both excited about the results.  He left for the next 6 months that afternoon!

Now: I had been taking tests for about a week before I got the positive this time.  My husband and  were together for this one as well.

Symptoms

Then: Almost immediately, my breasts were huge!   I felt like I had jet lag and would collapse in the afternoon for a nice long nap. Some minor bleeding at about 6 weeks, but just brown blood which was determined to be no big deal, probably just implantation bleeding.

Now: No major breast size increase.  I was nauseous all day long, vomiting sporadically and highly sensitive to smell.  Almost everything made me gag.  I’ve never been so exhausted in my life, even in the first sleepless weeks of motherhood.  I’m not sure if it’s because I have to keep up with my toddler or just the double whammy of twins, but this time around I’m practically comatose.  Acne, vaginal discharge, body odor, gas, crabby attitude, headaches, absentmindedness, lightheadedness are all some of the lovely symptoms this time around!

First doctor’s appointments

Then: In Japan, there was only one OB to serve a very large population.  I didn’t meet her until she delivered my daughter!  So, I had my pregnancy followed by a number of different GPs in a very small clinic on base.  I was told to wait until 8 weeks along before coming in for the blood test and then my first ultrasound was at 10 weeks.

Now: There are no military OBs in my town, so I’m referred out to a local civilian OB practice.  My choice of provider is a Certified Nurse Midwife, whose practice also includes an OB.  I saw her when I was 7.5 weeks along, just after my positive blood test.  She has an ultrasound machine in the exam room and I’m thrilled to have a peek inside my uterus every visit!

OMG, I’m having WHAT??? My midwife spent a long time interviewing me about my first pregnancy and my medical history before we got to the ultrasound.  I told her how awful I’d been feeling and that I was just overwhelmed.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t much she could do to reassure me since some women deal with much worse and each pregnancy is different.  When I was having my ultrasound, she poked around for a while and found a baby.  I said, “Just one”?  She asked about my family history and I told her that there were twins on my mother’s side.  She said, “Well, there is another egg sac here, but that doesn’t automatically mean twins.”  Of course she found the other baby!  Both had healthy heartbeats and separate sacs, separate placentas, which is great for twins and likely means they are fraternal.

Breaking the twins news

My husband – like many men, kids and women who haven’t had children – had always thought twins would be super and openly wished that we’d have twins.  I thought one at a time would be just fine!  Clearly he got his way.  I was in shock, but also excited.  I knew he’d be thrilled and our families would be ecstatic.  So, I hurried home to tell him, armed with 3 ultrasound photos.  He met me in the house and we chatted about my appointment.  I showed him picture # 1 and said, “This is a picture of a baby” and did the same with picture #2.   And then I handed him the last shot of them both and said, “This is a picture of the two of them together!”  It had a fairly dramatic effect and we just kind of stared at each other laughing before we collapsed on our couch to contemplate the rest of our lives.  Oy, heady stuff!

Since I was already 7 weeks along and had seen the babies and their heartbeats, we decided to tell our families right away.  We had kept the pregnancy news from them, so this was a pretty big scoop.  We Skyped with our parents and called or emailed with the rest of our families.  Our local friends already knew I was pregnant — I like my wine, so when I stopped drinking it was fairly obvious — but we waited a few more weeks to tell other friends.

Weight gain, exercise

Then: I gained 2 lbs the first trimester and was able to keep teaching fitness classes without dropping my workload.

Now: I gained 8 lbs in the first 12 weeks and was discouraged from exercise other than walking.

Twinsights

This pregnancy has been much harder on me overall than the first.  There are times when I think our timing was a little too rushed and that it would have been nice to have a summer together and enjoy just being a 3-person family for a while.  Our lifestyle doesn’t allow for much rose-smelling, so to speak, and we are forced to plan things far in advance.  We’ll be a party of 5 before we know it and life will continue to present new challenges!

Initially I thought my second pregnancy would be sort of ho-hum and boring since I’d been through it and knew what to expect.  Ha!  No way is this ho-hum!  It’s nice to have something altogether different to learn about and research.  I have a totally different library this time and have soaked up as much “twinfo” as possible.  My care is vastly different as I’ll be followed by a team of OB professionals and have more frequent and intense monitoring.  It’s exciting to share the news – people are awed by twins and I’ve had so many pleasant reactions that I can’t help but feel better about the minor irritations of pregnancy.

Posted by Leyna on August 24, 2010

Breastfeeding Month 4

As second time “new mom” I am seeing some frustrating yet familiar problems I had with my first born. Getting started the second time, with Garrett, now four months, wasn’t nearly as hard as the first time around. I’m a well rehearsed veteran at this point, right?

Nolan, who is now 23 months and breastfed for 14 months, was extremely difficult to breastfeed. Flat nipples, tongue tied, and engorgement made the first three months painful and horribly difficult. No one is ready to be on the phone with you at 2:38 am to walk you through another painful latch and waiting for a let down. But just as I started to get the hang of it, it seemed that my milk supply tanked. I’d feel a let down and hear that little clicking swallow for a few minutes, then nothing. No swallow, just a cry and numerous attempts to re-latch to no avail. So frustrating!!!

The most useful information I got was from a LLL leader. With access to a pump I was able to do something called “Power Pumping.” This is where you spend an hour with your pump doing 12 minute intervals of on and off pumping. So while watching Grey’s Anatomy or a whole hour of The Office, I’d pump for twelve minutes then rest for twelve minutes, then jump back on. This is only three rounds of pumping. I did this at night as soon as the little guy went down.

Well, Nolan got through it. Now I’m working on Garrett. Here we are at four months and spending some “quality time” with my pump on the living room floor.

The difference between the first and second child is that Garrett has already been losing weight. This started before the supply problem. Right now, they’ve chalked it up to being an “active baby.” The only thing keeping me from getting excessively worried is the wet and poopy diapers I change all day, and the fact that Garrett seems to be a happy and healthy baby. The big picture looks good. As a mom, it’s my job to worry. I am confident I’ll get through this adjustment period again.

But until then, pump, drink dark beer, take fenugreek, and nurse all the time!

Posted by Bethany on August 23, 2010

Breastfeeding While Pregnant

My journey as a breastfeeding mom got off to a bit of a rough start with some latching difficulties, but after a month, my daughter Layla and I had things figured out and it was all smooth sailing from there. Until I got pregnant again when Layla was almost 10 months old. I had not planned on having another baby so soon, and I was more than a little nervous.

My biggest concern was being able to continue nursing Layla to the 12 month mark. Would I be able to give her the nourishment that she needed? Was it safe to breastfeed during pregnancy? In addition to Hilary Flower’s Adventures in Tandem Nursing, I consulted KellyMom and La Leche League- two of my favorite breastfeeding resources- and was reassured that in the majority of cases, it is perfectly safe to continue breastfeeding your baby while pregnant, but it can present some challenges.

Possible Challenges

• Discomfort Many women who have gone through the first trimester of pregnancy are all too familiar with the breast sensitivity that can go along with a new pregnancy. Add a nursing baby to the mix and the problem can be compounded. I was lucky enough that I have not had any pain while nursing Layla during this pregnancy, but some women are not so fortunate. Some women even experience a creepy-crawly, or antsy sensation, which can take some of the joy out of the breastfeeding relationship.
• Your Own Nutrition When you are pregnant and nursing, you are supporting three people, and the nutrients are distributed according to priority. The growing fetus gets dibs, followed by your nursing child, and then you come in third. Ensuring that you are eating and drinking adequately is key. A pregnant woman needs 200 extra calories per day. A nursing mother needs about 500 extra calories daily. Making sure that you eat well can be difficult when you’re experiencing the nausea and exhaustion of early pregnancy, all while chasing after a baby or toddler. This is where your husband or partner really needs to help you out as much as possible to make sure you’re taken care of.
• Dip in Milk Supply Around the 6 week mark, I noticed that Layla was getting very fussy at the breast. She would would latch on only to pop off a few seconds later, acting very frustrated. I tried to hand express my milk and very little milk came out. I promptly freaked. The next day she did the same thing. Not only was I worried that she wasn’t getting enough milk, I was heartbroken, thinking that our breastfeeding relationship was over just like that. As a last ditch effort, I went online to look for pregnancy safe  galactogogues (herbs, medicines, and foods that increase milk supply) and I found More Milk Two , an herbal supplement that is safe to take during pregnancy. Within a few days of starting the  supplement, my milk supply was back and we were able to continue nursing. Every woman’s experience will be different. Some women I have talked to noticed absolutely no change in supply until well into the second trimester, while others had absolutely no milk by the time they were 10 weeks along.
• Nutrition and The Age of Your Nursing Baby When you are pregnant and nursing, your breastmilk will change back over to colostrum at some point in the second trimester, usually around 20 weeks gestation. If you are nursing an older infant or toddler, there will probably be no real nutritional issues to deal with. Toddlers’ nutritional needs can be met through whole milk and solid foods, but mothers of infants will need to pay close attention to make sure their babies’ needs are being met. Mothers of older infants that are close to turning one will likely have enough milk to at least make it to the 12 month mark, when whole milk can be introduced. The woman who gets pregnant while nursing a younger infant will likely have to make the switch to formula to meet her baby’s nutritional needs if her milk converts to colostrum before the baby turns one.

Looking Back

Layla and I were able to continue breastfeeding past her first birthday, and now at 13 months (and 18 weeks pregnant) we are on the road to weaning. I find myself treasuring these last few weeks that we get to share this special bond. It makes the difficult times we had at the beginning and toward the end feel so worthwhile. I am glad (and darn proud!) that I was able to provide her with the best nourishment that I could for her first year of life. Like many other areas of motherhood, the decision to continue nursing during pregnancy and beyond  is a personal one, and the needs of all parties involved- the mother, the nursling, and the fetus need to be balanced, but it’s good to know that a new pregnancy does not mean that your breastfeeding relationship has to come to an end.

Posted by Lyssa on August 22, 2010

My Breast Was Not Best

I am a big supporter of breastfeeding. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed my newborn son. Back then, I thought women who said they “couldn’t”, were just not given the support and education they needed, that they lacked the commitment and sacrifice needed to establish a good milk supply and routine. I was in for quite a rude awakening.

We did all the “right things” when Quinn was born–we were skin to skin almost immediately, he was latched on within his first 30 minutes of life, and I religiously logged how long he was on each breast. Soon however, I watched my sweet newborn turn an interesting shade of yellow and wondered if his tiny, very absorbant little diaper had any urine in it–it can be hard to tell (I love the nurse who taught me to place a tissue in the diaper to see if was wet). They sent me home assuming that my milk was just slow to come in.

The details are a bit fuzzy almost 5 years later, but I know there was very little sleep and much worry that my son was starving and I was to blame. Our pediatrician had a lactation consultant who was immensely helpful–she set me up with a turbo-charged, hospital grade breast pump and a supplemental feeding system.  Another lactation consultant and friend told me what herbs to take, how much water to drink and I followed all orders as directed–to the point of what felt like insanity.

Despite all of these interventions, my milk never came in. I cried tears of guilt and shame as I doomed my baby to a life of ear infections and decreased intelligence. It was a whole new level of failure to know that I was depriving my child of this essential concoction which Mother Nature had intended for his optimal growth and development.

I do support breastfeeding and my mind understands and supports the zealous campaigning being done to promote it. My heart still feels sad that Quinn and I began our bond together distressed over the fact that my body just would not work the “right” way. We moms are all in this to grow healthy babies. The breast is best, it is good for the baby and good  for the mom–but,  if breastfeeding is not possible, it is reassuring to know that a formula fed little munchkin can turn into a healthy, vibrant child who has only had two ear infections in five years and is well-bonded with his mommy.

Posted by KC on August 20, 2010

Things That Make You Go… Ewwwww!

In a society, as we get older we form opinions and judgments on things. They are based on our experiences, our beliefs and common thought amongst our peers groups. We make our assessments and do what we think is best (or normal) for us.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. As our society has grown and changed, the things that were once taboo and sometimes used to be frowned upon, we have now opened our mind to accept and therefore adapt. Thereby, making it now normal. These range from cleaning products (What? Baking soda is not just for cooking?) to tampons (Can you imagine our grandmother’s first thoughts… you wanna stick that where?!).

Pregnancy and the upcoming birth of our child have made me do just that. The things that were once ‘gross’ to me, I am now having an open mind about; some of the options considered bizarre, I am now looking into. There are some choices in pregnancy and childbirth that are starting to cross lines. More and more people are doing it so they are becoming more and more popular and moms are inquiring about them. Including me.

My life thus far has always been extreme. With pregnancy it has just taken a sharp turn that make friends politely go, “Hmmm….”

Starting with our choice of birth. Once upon a time, I was all for a hospital, medicated birth. That was our hope and desire! I used to joke with people to give me an epidural as soon as I got pregnant! My husband agreed saying he wanted one, too. However, since getting pregnant we have decided on almost the complete opposite… a water birth at a birthing center. I have now become un‐normal amongst my peer group and get a lot of funny looks and questions from concerned people (and not just friends!)

Then the baby shower came. After spending 10 years on and off in childcare I decided I didn’t want anything new, I want to cloth diaper, and make my own baby food. Friends don’t know how to go about buying shower gifts for us. I now have a big sign on my forehead that says, “WEIRDO!”

Now, the stuff I am afraid to admit because it might ostracize me from those near and dear…. I’ve considered placenta encapsulation and breast milk donation. There! I’ve said it aloud! You might as well stick me in the bush to make friends with the animals, cause I’m off in the woods!

Honestly, my first thought was, “Ewwww. Really?! People do that?” I saw my dog give birth once, and her natural instinct was to eat every puppy’s placenta. I’ve also seen a cat suck a dog’s teats for milk. Now, I’ve also seen a dog eat poop, so I’m not necessarily going the route of the animal kingdom.

But it’s made me think, why not these options for my baby? I’m willing to eat the oil from a fish, algae, cod liver to name a few and whatever else that will help me and grow my baby to be a genius, yet I can’t even consider the strongest vitamins that helped grow the life inside of me because it sounds gross? We are also the only creatures that will give our babies milk that was meant for calves, but yet we find other woman’s breast milk disturbing.

What is ‘normal’ and who classifies it? Do we stand to be out‐casted from playgroups if we chose one way or another? Do we need to get a celebrity on board so our absurd becomes hip? Or our hip becomes absurd? If we claim to have open‐minds then why aren’t people talking about it and sharing? I think that’s why I like PregTASTIC so much. The subject is pregnancy and childbirth so everything goes. We talk about things with guests whom I would never have sought advice from before and I find myself intrigued with what they have to say.

I know the judgment only gets worse from here on out as we try to rear our children in a ‘normal’ society. I might have to go live in the woods with my animal friends and reemerge for my placenta capsules; or just grin and bear it with a smile on my face and a secret in my heart while pretending to be ‘normal’ while we all figure this parenthood thing out.

Now, I still haven’t wrapped my brain around a placenta teddy bear but let’s just say I’m trying to be open about all things…

Posted by Sunny on August 10, 2010

Sayer’s Birth Story

I gave birth to my son, Sayer Ryan Gault, nearly two weeks ago. And I can honestly say it was the best moment of my life.

It’s strange. You have nine months to prepare for this moment, and still nothing can quite compare to seeing your child’s face for the first time. The overwhelming sense of pride and awe is almost too much to bare. That combined with all the extra hormones racing through your body makes for one roller coaster of an emotional ride.

And in my case, it was all caught on video.

See, this is what happens when you become obsessed with TLC’s A Baby Story…

For all the details, be sure to check out my birth story on PregTASTIC. My mom (who was there during the delivery) and I also shot a video where we discuss the birth story. You can watch it here.

Posted by KC on August 10, 2010

Making a Baby Isn’t Always Easy

As we geared up to let the world in on our little secret I was nervous, excited, and above all I wanted to be considerate and understanding to every woman out there. This last year, while living in Korea, I was reminded every time I saw a status update or an email from a friend or family member of a new pregnancy for them, I rejoiced for them, but ached for us. They did something we couldn’t do; which was conceive a child.

I was reminded (or kept reminding myself) that my story is different from everyone else in the world. I take pride in my life’s story thus far at how different it is from most people I know. Yet, as we tried for a child and discovered problems, I desperately wanted to have a normal story. I’ve been poked and prodded, x-rayed and drugged and in broken English was told to expect multiples, only to baffle the doctors as to why not one fertilized egg wanted to make my uterus its home. I felt like I’ve been playing God, messing with His divine plan, and praying that my decisions would not affect His outcome.

So, after being told our best option would be in-vitro-fertilization, the hope of having a normal conception seemed unlikely. As a couple, we were not ready (emotional or financially) for that decision, yet we were not giving up hope that God had a plan for us; whether that was natural, IVF, or adoption.

Then, a friend in Korea gave us a book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. A book that I resisted reading (why take my temperature to learn when I ovulate when a Dr. looks at my eggs with an ultrasound and tells me?!). But, reading this book forever changed our lives. Through taking my temperature I learned a few things. First, the Dr. had the day of ovulation wrong (who would think my eggs could lie to a Doctor!) Which meant, secondly, the last phase of my cycle (the luteal phase) was too short. In essence, I was getting pregnant but my uterine lining would shed too early. In discovering this I felt empowered (but scared I was crazy) and promptly bought some new vitamins to help with the luteal phase. And bam…. pregnant!

There were a few more things that were happening in my body that prevented us from conceiving while in Korea. Mid cycle bleeding because my uterus was too thin, getting put on birth control for a hormonal imbalance, poor cervical mucus which meant our ‘window’ was smaller (huge problem), stress, etc; any number of factors that made getting pregnant near impossible. I wonder how long I would have gone on in my life thinking I was barren when my somewhat simple problem could be fixed. I just discovered one problem that I could try to restore. I know not everyone has a problem that can be fixed with vitamins. I’ve also learned I can’t look at others successes and failures and measure myself up against them. Which is so easy to do when they all have what you want. I am reminded that they are walking their story and I am walking mine.

The one hope I clung to during this process was that one day when I would be holding my perfect child in my arms, at no other time, no other month, no other cycle, in my life could we have created that being. I felt peace that this bumpy road we walked along would end in a perfect plan that I would never be able to create.

Now we rejoice for our little miracle that is growing inside. Still in shock, but amazed at the plan that is unfolding. But my tears remain even as I write this. I cry for the ache we went through and for the struggle many of my dear friends are currently in. However, I am so looking forward to reading the end of their story.

To learn more about infertility and how to overcome the odds, listen to this week’s PregTASTIC episode featuring Dr. Arlene Morales, Founder and Director of Fertility Specialists Medical Group in San Diego.

Posted by Jessica on August 8, 2010

Confessions of a Nursing Mom

By Jessica

I don’t like breastfeeding.

There, I said it.

Alert the Bad-Mom Police if you must.

When I was pregnant, I imagined what breastfeeding would be like. Baby Charlie would nurse as we sat in a sunbeam in the warm afternoon sun. There’d be soft music in the air, most likely sung by angels. A warm glow would surround us as we oozed love for one another, and I’d be at peace knowing that I was giving my son the best nutrition that nature could produce.

Ha!

As cliche as this sounds, breastfeeding would be much more satisfying if it weren’t so damn difficult. And Charlie and I were beset with problems from the start.

My labor was loooong (listen to my birth story on PregTASTIC), and painful, and the aftermath was pretty brutal, too. Like all moms, I fumbled the first few times nursing him. The hospital nurses told me different things. I asked twice to see a lactation consultant, but she never came.

Then I didn’t sleep for several days. And I don’t mean I barely slept, or only caught cat naps here and there. I DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL FOR SEVERAL DAYS. Zero. Zilch. The lack of sleep triggered crazy anxiety, which only exacerbated the insomnia.

Through all of this, Charlie was desperately hungry and constantly screaming. My milk hadn’t come in by his wellness check four days later, and he’d already lost more than a pound. We began supplementing at the breast. Charlie stopped screaming.

On day six (after I finally got some sleep) my milk came in dribbled in. I put him to the breast at every opportunity to increase my supply, but we were hit with the typical problems: It was painful. My nipples bled constantly. I couldn’t figure out how to hold him. He couldn’t figure out the latch. When he finally latched, he’d fall asleep instantly and nothing – not even touching his skin with an ice-cold glass of water  – could rouse him. I was angry and exasperated and deflated and stressed out of my mind. I wanted to strangle people who told me, “Just relax. The baby can feel your tension, you know.”

When I pumped, I’d only get about half an ounce – total. At this point, he was easily guzzling three ounces of formula/pumped milk every 2-3 hours. There was no way I could keep up. I felt guilty. I felt like a failure. I felt like a bad mother.

Things got better once I saw a lactation consultant. She showed me how to get Charlie to latch, and for the first time I thought, “I can do this!” When I saw the consultant a week later, we were both doing much better. To increase my shred of a supply, she recommended fenugreek and mother’s milk tea. She even lent me a hospital-grade pump!

And my milk did increase. Slightly. Instead of pumping half an ounce total every 2-3 hours, I now get something closer to one ounce per breast. At 10 weeks, Charlie is eating four (combo of formula/pumped milk).

Yet now he’s started to reject me when I try to nurse him. Sometimes he has complete meltdowns if I put him in ANY nursing position, even sitting up. Or he’ll latch, suck a few times, then scream, pull back, and pound his fists against me as if trying to get away. I’ve attempted all of the tips on all of the web sites: breast compressions, expressing before he latches, skin to skin, every position imaginable, dietary changes, breaks. I’ve bared it all in front of fellow mamas who’ve unsuccessfully tried to help. Suffice it to say, I have another call into the lactation consultant.

So, as you see, breastfeeding is not fun for me. There’s no sunbeam. There’s no oozing of love. I’m usually stressed, or fighting an angry baby, or fighting feelings of failure and rejection. During the good nursing sessions, I’m on edge, expecting the melt down. I cry occasionally. I want to quit constantly.

But every day I reaffirm my commitment to nursing Charlie. I don’t care if he only gets one ounce a day from me; he’s going to get that ounce, and he’s going to like it. I am deeply committed, despite how difficult it is for me. I believe too much in the importance of breast milk. I’m too damn stubborn.

Each day that I don’t quit is another victory for me and for Charlie. Each day I take the time to congratulate myself. Breastfeeding is by far the most challenging thing I’ve ever done in my life, but it’s also given me a great deal of pride.

And that’s something even the Bad-Mom Police can get behind.

Posted by Sunny on August 6, 2010

PregTASTIC Supports Breastfeeding Awareness

As many of you know, August is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month. To help support this endeavor, our new PregTASTIC blogging team will be sharing their personal experiences when it comes to breastfeeding. We’re telling it all… the good, the bad and the ugly. Breastfeeding can be difficult, and the more we can support and encourage one another, the better off we’ll all be. We firmly believe that.

So, enjoy the stories this month… and if you’re interested in sharing your own personal experience, please contact us. For additional information about breastfeeding, listen to the following episodes of PregTASTIC:

Breastfeeding Basics, Part 1 of 3
What are some advantages for both mom and baby? When will your milk come in? How much and how often should you feed your newborn? When should you consider purchasing a breast pump, bottles and other breastfeeding gear? When is your window of opportunity to introduce a bottle? Plus, common breastfeeding hiccups and ways to overcome them. Is there a genetic factor? Dr. Eyla Boise, Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at University California San Diego School of Medicine is this weeks breastfeeding expert.

Tips for a Healthy Breastfeeding Diet, Part 2 of 3
A mom’s healthy, balanced diet is essential for future breastfeeding. Mothers often have questions about which foods are important to eat and which foods should be avoided when nursing their babies. What are some helpful nutritional guidelines? How important is calcium, iron, protein? What foods and snacks are best? And the importance of staying hydrated. April Boyle, a board certified lactation consultant and registered dietitian is this week’s expert.

Positions and Proper Latch-On Skills, Part 3 of 3
During the early weeks, optimal positioning and a proper latch are especially important. When you and your baby are well positioned and latched correctly, your nipples stay healthy and your baby can feed most efficiently. Eve Moran, this week’s breastfeeding expert, joins us with information, tips and techniques on the proper way to position and hold your baby while breastfeeding and the importance of a proper latch.

Also, coming this month… we’ll be taping new PregTASTIC episodes focusing on “Baby-Friendly” Hospitals and “Breast Milk Banking”. Watch these tapings LIVE on our website Saturday, August 14th.

Posted by Lyssa on August 5, 2010

Facing My Infertility With Ambivalence

I have PCOS–Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, an endocrine disorder which can cause infertility by interfering with ovulation. My husband and I had been married for 5 years with only sporadic, half-hearted use of birth control, but having a baby was still an “someday” notion when I found out I was pregnant.  I was 33 and had lost a significant amount of weight which jump-started ovulation.  We started trying to get pregnant again when Quinn turned one and while I had not gained back the weight, the PCOS caught up to me–with a vengeance.  As much as I wanted another child, part of me felt like if it wasn’t going to happen on its own, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. My midwife referred me to the Reproductive Endocrinologist (R.E.) in the practice after several failed Clomid rounds (Clomid is an oral medication used to stimulate ovulation) and I procrastinated in making that appointment for a long time thinking–”it will surely happen next month”… Meanwhile, I wasn’t getting any younger and age is very unkind to a woman’s fertility!

Finally, we went to see the R.E. and learned that IVF was going to be our best chance to have another child–were we really prepared for the shots, the procedures, the hormonal tidal waves? We decided that since our insurance covered a good portion of the treatments, we’d give it a try.  We gave it three tries, to be exact. Our first cycle ended in miscarriage of twins (more on that in another post), our second cycle was a complete disaster–but the third time was the charm.  It often takes women several IVF cycles(five cycles is not unheard of) to achieve a healthy pregnancy, and my doctor really took the time to examine our case and make some small changes which seemed to do the trick. I am 24 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.

If I had to do it all again, I would have kicked my ambivalence to the curb immediately!  This can be a long process and hemming and hawing and anger and frustration only waste valuable time and energy. My son will be almost 6 when our second child is born–not the timing I would have chosen, but we are grateful for this child all the same. Luckily, we did not have to go far to find and great doctor and our insurance did cover a significant amount of the costly process. The support of my husband, family and friends also had a big impact–infertility rocked my world like no other struggle I have had to deal with,I needed all the emotional encouragement I could get.

To hear another woman’s brave battle with infertility, listen to this week’s PregTASTIC episode, featuring San Diego radio personality Sky Williams. Next week, Dr. Arlene Morales discusses infertility myths and facts. Plus, the most common fertility problems and medical treatments? And how to help friends and family members cope with infertility.

Posted by Krista on July 24, 2010

Happy Birthday, Little One!

I’m doing some reflecting today.  In two days, my son will celebrate his second birthday.  Two years ago today, I went to a scheduled doctor’s appointment with my OB/GYN and left with orders to come back at dinnertime to begin the induction process, due to elevated blood pressure and fears of developing preeclampsia.  My husband and I shared a meal together while we hastily compiled lists of things to do before heading back to the hospital.  It was a surreal experience to pack up our things and make that peaceful drive, knowing that we would be coming home with a baby!

The two years since his birth have been some of the most joyful, exciting, trying, and emotional moments of my life.  In that time, we have moved twice, lost a parent (my mother-in-law), and welcomed a new baby.  To say it has been eventful would be an understatement!  There are days when I feel overwhelmed by the weight of my responsibilities and the needs of everyone in our family.  I sometimes think the laundry will never be done,there will never be enough money, and my To Do list will never have X’s crossing off each item.

I cherish my family; my incredible husband, my amazing toddler, and my sweet little infant.  And in their eyes, I see that those things – the laundry, the lists – don’t matter.  What does matter are the times when I make my little boy laugh until his cheeks are wet with happy tears, the gurgles I get from my baby when we play peek-a-boo, and the looks I exchange with my husband that say “We are blessed.”  And boy oh boy, are we blessed.  On Saturday we will be at the end of our “Two Under Two” era, entering a new and exciting phase in our lives.

Tomorrow night, when I tuck my little boy into bed for his last night as a one year old, I’ll hug him extra tight and remember feeling his tiny toes kicking me from the inside.  We’ll give our Eskimo kisses and I’ll think about seeing his little face for the first time.  I’ll tell him that I love him, he will say it back (“Nuv new!”), and I’ll wonder how I ever lived without him.

I love you, sweet Miles!  Happy Birthday, little one.

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Posted by Oona on July 20, 2010

A Virtual Shower for a Real Baby

It’s hard being away from friends and family. It’s especially hard when you’re pregnant. No one can simply pop on over to see how you’re doing and bring you a pint of ice cream; your mom can’t take you to shop for maternity or baby clothes; your girlfriends can’t oooh and ahhh at how beautiful and big your belly is getting while giving it a rub; and no one can easily come by for the afternoon to shower you with their love and gifts.

Luckily, in this day and age, we have the Internet. Which is the next best thing to actually being with people! Right??? Okay, it certainly doesn’t replace having your loved ones in the same room as you, but it provides a window through which you can share the journey of pregnancy with them. And that is exactly what David and I did.  We had a virtual baby shower (listen to PregTASTIC, Episode 177 for tips on Baby Shower Etiquette)!

You might be thinking… What in the world is a virtual baby shower? As much as I’d love to take the credit, I am not the first person to do one. You can google it and find some information about different ways to hold one, as well as a website that does it for you for a nominal fee. Wanting to personalize it as much as possible, however, I decided to do it my own way.

First, I created a website (easily done with iWeb). It’s a place for our friends and family to keep up-to-date with the progress of the pregnancy through journal entries, photos and videos. We also created web pages for the baby shower – an informational page, a fun & games page, and a gift registry page. Invitations were sent out to our loved ones inviting them to visit the website and asking them to save the date and time to “attend” our baby shower live on the web. That’s right…LIVE!  The response was amazing (mixed in with a little confusion which was easily cleared up)!

Our friends and family from all over the country, and even from London and Argentina visited the site and got to see how we were doing and participate in the fun. They filled out the fun & games page which included:

• Send a Message: write a note to the baby
• Guess the Details: birth date, time, weight, length etc…
• Guess the Name: the baby’s first, middle and last name
• Share a Recipe: either for mom and dad, or the baby

It was such a delight to read what everyone wrote, and so special to have such personalized entries from everyone. We got lovely messages, hilarious guesses and delicious recipes. The messages are being put into a baby book for the baby; we will declare winners for the guessing games after the baby is born; and the recipes are all going into our personal recipe book. And the gifts started to roll in!  And pile up – since we didn’t want to open them until our virtual shower. It was getting more and more exciting as the day of the shower approached.

The day of the shower arrived and at the set time, we and our loved one’s logged on to ustream.tv – we had a url and password just for our shower that we provided for our guests. Guests were able to chat with us online as we streamed ourselves live from our living room. At first, I have to admit, it was a little weird – a bit voyeuristic, and it felt like we were talking to ourselves. But people starting signing in – we had family from New York, Maryland, Texas and even Buenos Aires! Everyone started chatting with us, reacting to my belly with a lot “Oooos and aaaaahs”; people told me how beautiful I looked (which is always nice to hear); and they were also chatting with one another. So after we settled into it, it was actually a lot of fun!

We read out loud some of the messages and guesses that people made. Someone guessed that the circumference of my belly would be 62” at the time of the birth – which is actually how tall I am – so that got a lot of virtual laughs. My cousin guessed that the baby would be 15 inches long – which I thought was a dig on how short I am – laughs. And my dad guessed that our son would be named “Nick The Quick Private Eye” (exposing his own personal dream of having a detective grandson with the name Nick) – tons of virtual laughs.

Then the present opening commenced! We opened all of our wonderful gifts and presented them to the computer video. It was a joy to be surprised by all of the gifts and to read the sweet notes sent by everyone. I’m still kind a kid when it comes to opening presents, so I had a lot of fun ripping open the wrapping paper and pulling out each gift (I let David open a few). I think it was especially nice for our family and friend’s to see our delight at opening the gifts that they sent, and for us to be able to thank them right away. We got some beautiful stuff.

The whole thing took about an hour and a half. And after the initial awkwardness of being out there in the virtual universe, it was a real success. I’m so glad we did it. I think the people who participated appreciated being included in the moment – from wherever they happened to live. And I finally got the oohs and ahhhs that I’d been craving so much and, more importantly, felt the virtual arms of our loved one’s from all over the world supporting us and loving us in this amazing time in our lives. There’s nothing better.

Posted by Sunny on July 16, 2010

Looking For PregTASTIC Bloggers!

Want to share your thoughts on pregnancy and motherhood with all of our listeners?
Well, here’s your chance!

Join the PregTASTIC blogging team! Starting August, our blog will feature weekly contributions from some of your favorite PregTASTIC preggies! We also want our fans to get involved and join the fun. If you’re currently pregnant and can devote at least a few hours to writing blog posts every month… then this could be the ideal opportunity for you!

We’re looking for all types of moms and moms-to-be, from all over the world!
If interested, contact us today!

Posted by Sunny on July 10, 2010

Our New Show Format!

As many of you know, PregTASTIC was on a bit of a hiatus during the last month.
But, for good reason…

We’re in the process of making several changes to both our show format and our website. We believe these changes will help take PregTASTIC to the next level so we can better serve and connect with you, our audience! Some of the improvements are listed below…

• New Host/New Preggies!
  I (Sunny) have officially taken the reigns as host and producer of PregTASTIC. We’ve also welcomed several new faces to the show, all of which are great additions to the PregTASTIC team. Visit the “Bios” section at the bottom of each page to learn more about us!
• PregTASTIC Live!
  All of the tapings for our PregTASTIC shows are now video streamed live on our website. Keep in mind, this is not the finished product, but rather a behind the scenes look at how we create our shows. It’s also a great opportunity to connect and chat with the PregTASTIC team.
• Shorter Episodes
  We’ve reduced the overall length of each PregTASTIC episode to about 30 minutes. This is a big change, and we’re still perfecting it, so don’t time us just yet !
• Ups and Downs
  Sharing our pregnancy ups and downs has become an important part of the PregTASTIC experience. In fact, our audience enjoys it so much that we decided to devote an entire episode each month to these stories. Also, each episode will feature a special guest preggie. If you’d like to be a guest on PregTASTIC, visit our forum or our facebook fan page and begin sharing your ups and downs.
• New PregTASTIC Blog
  It’s been about a year since we regularly blogged on the PregTASTIC website, and we want to improve that. So, we’ll be adding at least one new blog post per week, perhaps more. Also, we’re looking for guest bloggers to help us create great content. If you’re interested, please contact us.
• Additional Website Updates
  We’re in the process of making several improvements to the structure and overall usability of our website. This includes categorizing episodes according to topics (so you can find them easier), and updating additional resources such as the PregTASTIC forum. We’ll also be engaging our audience and sending special updates through twitter and our facebook fan page.

As always, please let us know what you think of these changes. And if you have additional suggestions, we’d love to hear them. Simply leave your comments below.

Posted by Sunny on June 28, 2010

Childbirth (The Whole Enchilada)

I had no idea how involved the whole process of childbirth could actually be… especially for new parents. So, it’s a good thing Ryan and I signed up for a weekend crash course in the subject (listen to PregTASTIC, Episode 114 for more information on birthing classes).

I had heard mixed reviews about these types of classes. Mainly that they weren’t really worth your time because they pretty much just state the obvious. And let’s face it… most of us already know the basics. Our parents taught us that when they sat us down to discuss the proverbial “birds and the bees”. However, I doubt your parents ever got this deep….

As with most things in life… the more you know about a particular topic, the more comfortable you feel. So, it only makes sense to get a quick preview of what is likely to become the most important day of your life.

In our case, our childbirth class at Palomar Medical Center was not only a great prep course, but it also served as an important dress rehearsal for the big day. We mapped out our route to the hospital and determine the best place to park (including after hours). Then, we toured the hospital for the first time, which included a stop in both the private delivery rooms as well as the recovery rooms. We were even able to pre-register for the big day.

And all that was really a bonus! The material covered in class was also extremely helpful. It’s what I like to call “the whole enchilada”.  It’s packed with lots of good “stuff”… and yes, at times it can get a little messy. Especially some of the videos… so eat a light lunch

Really nothing is off limits in these classes, which is great. Most of the couples are first-time parents, so we’re all asking the same silly questions when it comes to labor and delivery. Common topics of discussion include pregnancy comforts/discomforts, stages/phases of labor, comfort techniques, hospital procedures and caring for a newborn. For Ryan and I, these topics were a great starting point for discussions outside the classroom. Believe it or not, deciding what is best for your family and comparing that to what your OB and hospital want for you, can be overwhelming. There are many choices to make, and having a partner to share that responsibility is extremely helpful.

It definitely made us stronger in the end. And Lord knows… I need all the strength I can get come D-Day.

Posted by Sunny on June 9, 2010

DIY Maternity Photos

I have been researching photographers for months now… trying to find the perfect person to shoot both my maternity photos and our newborn photos. I finally found her… I just couldn’t afford her.

So, my husband Ryan and I decided to get a little creative… a least, with the maternity photos. I did some research online and found maternity photos I really liked that were taken at the beach. I printed those photos and we headed west with a basic point-and-shoot digital camera and three changes of clothes.

About an hour (and 176 photos) later, we had all the shots we needed. Granted, they’re not super professional-looking, but they’re real. And they perfectly capture this moment I want to remember for the rest of my life.

For more information on pregnancy photography, listen to PregTASTIC, Episode 16.

Posted by Sunny on May 18, 2010

Our 3D/4D Ultrasound

Imagine being able to see your baby in detail before he’s even born! That’s exactly what happens when you have a 3D/4D ultrasound. For the soon-to-be mom, the experience is completely surreal. You feel the baby move and then you can see what the baby is actually doing on the monitor.

We chose to have our ultrasound done at Baby Waves during the week of my Ohio baby shower. We wanted as many immediate family members to be there as possible. Especially since most of them won’t be in town for the actual birth.

The ultrasound was absolutely amazing. In the hospital, you typically see your baby in 2D. Which means, you can pretty much see an outline, beating heart and that’s about it. However, 3D/4D images allow you to see in much greater detail. In our case, the baby has my husband’s facial structure with my eyes and lips.

See for yourself….

Listen to PregTASTIC, Episode 118 to get the 411 on all types of Ultrasounds!