Infertility/Miscarriage

Posted by Christiane Williams on February 16, 2012

Trying To Conceive: Oh, The Things We Do….

After listening to the recent PregTASTIC episode on Hypnofertility, I was reminded of the time when we were actively trying to conceive. What had started out as an exciting project over the months became a chore, a science project and finally a desperate “I’ll do anything” approach…

If you go to any internet forum about pregnancy, you are bound to found a section on “TTC” (Trying To Conceive), often sub grouped into categories like “Not trying, not preventing”, “Assisted Conception”, “Trying for our first”, “Older moms TTC” and sadly also “Trying after a loss”, “Secondary Infertility” and “Long Term TTC”. You never imagine that you will go beyond the generic “TTC” and end up in one of the more desperate subgroups… After all, most of us have spent our twenties trying NOT to get pregnant. Surely it would happen rather quickly as our mothers warned us once we stopped using contraception.

Alas, that’s often not the case – and as the months pass by without that positive pregnancy test, you start reading (and wondering) about the many things you can do to get pregnant, encouraged by the success stories that are posted on forums or the promises made on websites! (more…)

Posted by Christiane Williams on January 18, 2012

Gender Conception: Boys Vs. Girls

Now that I am more and more visibly pregnant, people are starting to comment on it. And the one topic that ALWAYS come up – right after “When are you due? / How far along are you?” – is “So are you hoping for a girl this time?”. Because people either see or know that I already have two boys and assume that I am hoping for the other gender!

Now I will admit that I would be thrilled to have a little girl and finally being able to wander over into the pink section and immerse myself in tutus, princesses and dolls! But as a mother of a disabled child I have to say that “healthy baby” is on top of the list, no matter what gender!

Nevertheless, while we were trying to conceive I did some research to see whether there is any definitive information out there on how to influence the gender at conception. I was amazed by the massive amount of tips, tricks and devices that promise to result in the gender of the reader’s choice! Put “How to conceive a boy” into Google and you get about 10,000,000 hits! Some methods are free and some are pricey, but – with the exception gender selected embryo IVF – no method is guaranteed, despite all the glowing testimonials! (more…)

Posted by KC Wilt on August 2, 2011

Sharing Your Pregnancy With Grace

There once was a time when it seemed as if the whole world was pregnant but me. Every other week another Facebook status would announce their new arrival and I would hope that if all went well our babies could be friends. After the hoping got old, and their babies and my eggs got older, the status updates were met with my sadness, frustration (at my own lack of ability) and defeat. Infertility is a slippery slope of emotions that many people tiptoe around.

Some to-be-mamas are super sensitive when sharing the good news with those who struggle with infertility. However, I am realizing that a lot of to-be-mamas (if never having struggled) are so joyous about their pregnancy that all compassion and sympathy goes out the door. Mostly, I believe they struggle because they don’t know how to deal with it. Something that is so exciting can be so painful for friends that we can either throw in their face (“be happy for me!”), dance around it (“sorry you had to hear from Facebook”), or just be silent in their presence and pretend nothing has changed. (more…)

Posted by Lyssa Hurst on March 29, 2011

Infertility: Over and Out

It took four years and thousands of dollars to have our second child… so you can understand why I literally burst out laughing when my midwife asked which birth control method my husband and I would be using.  She says the best cure for infertility is having a baby. I say the best birth control is having a 6 year old and a baby–who has the energy for sex??

Part of me would love to take my chances. What better news could a fertility-challenged woman get than to discover she’s pregnant again? My husband says, “win the lottery and we can have as many babies as you want.” I was lucky he agreed to try for another, he secretly always wanted to be an only child and was pretty content having an only child. Then there is the fact that I just turned 40. (more…)

Posted by Jane Park on January 20, 2011

Birth Control For Good

With the title, I don’t mean to imply that exposing someone to a screaming baby will frighten anyone into not having unprotected sex ever.  I mean, what sort of options are out there once we choose that this pregnancy will be the last one.  Often, our PregTASTIC episodes seem to be oriented towards the first time mother, most of whom are planning on having more than one child. I’m at the other end of this pregnancy spectrum. Like my former fellow podcaster, Amanda, I’m on baby number 3 and this will be my last.

An issue that my husband and I now need to consider is how to prevent any further, unplanned pregnancies from happening. In addition to the daily or perhaps more ephemeral contraceptive choices, there are some more permanent “fixes.” Here’s a link to a tool which will help you identify what options are best for your current needs.  The traditional debate though is which partner will be going to visit the doctor. (more…)

Posted by KC Wilt on August 10, 2010

Making a Baby Isn’t Always Easy

As we geared up to let the world in on our little secret I was nervous, excited, and above all I wanted to be considerate and understanding to every woman out there. This last year, while living in Korea, I was reminded every time I saw a status update or an email from a friend or family member of a new pregnancy for them, I rejoiced for them, but ached for us. They did something we couldn’t do; which was conceive a child.

I was reminded (or kept reminding myself) that my story is different from everyone else in the world. I take pride in my life’s story thus far at how different it is from most people I know. Yet, as we tried for a child and discovered problems, I desperately wanted to have a normal story. I’ve been poked and prodded, x-rayed and drugged and in broken English was told to expect multiples, only to baffle the doctors as to why not one fertilized egg wanted to make my uterus its home. I felt like I’ve been playing God, messing with His divine plan, and praying that my decisions would not affect His outcome.

So, after being told our best option would be in-vitro-fertilization, the hope of having a normal conception seemed unlikely. As a couple, we were not ready (emotional or financially) for that decision, yet we were not giving up hope that God had a plan for us; whether that was natural, IVF, or adoption.

Then, a friend in Korea gave us a book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. A book that I resisted reading (why take my temperature to learn when I ovulate when a Dr. looks at my eggs with an ultrasound and tells me?!). But, reading this book forever changed our lives. Through taking my temperature I learned a few things. First, the Dr. had the day of ovulation wrong (who would think my eggs could lie to a Doctor!) Which meant, secondly, the last phase of my cycle (the luteal phase) was too short. In essence, I was getting pregnant but my uterine lining would shed too early. In discovering this I felt empowered (but scared I was crazy) and promptly bought some new vitamins to help with the luteal phase. And bam…. pregnant!

There were a few more things that were happening in my body that prevented us from conceiving while in Korea. Mid cycle bleeding because my uterus was too thin, getting put on birth control for a hormonal imbalance, poor cervical mucus which meant our ‘window’ was smaller (huge problem), stress, etc; any number of factors that made getting pregnant near impossible. I wonder how long I would have gone on in my life thinking I was barren when my somewhat simple problem could be fixed. I just discovered one problem that I could try to restore. I know not everyone has a problem that can be fixed with vitamins. I’ve also learned I can’t look at others successes and failures and measure myself up against them. Which is so easy to do when they all have what you want. I am reminded that they are walking their story and I am walking mine.

The one hope I clung to during this process was that one day when I would be holding my perfect child in my arms, at no other time, no other month, no other cycle, in my life could we have created that being. I felt peace that this bumpy road we walked along would end in a perfect plan that I would never be able to create.

Now we rejoice for our little miracle that is growing inside. Still in shock, but amazed at the plan that is unfolding. But my tears remain even as I write this. I cry for the ache we went through and for the struggle many of my dear friends are currently in. However, I am so looking forward to reading the end of their story.

To learn more about infertility and how to overcome the odds, listen to this week’s PregTASTIC episode featuring Dr. Arlene Morales, Founder and Director of Fertility Specialists Medical Group in San Diego.

Posted by Lyssa Hurst on August 5, 2010

Facing My Infertility With Ambivalence

I have PCOS–Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, an endocrine disorder which can cause infertility by interfering with ovulation. My husband and I had been married for 5 years with only sporadic, half-hearted use of birth control, but having a baby was still an “someday” notion when I found out I was pregnant.  I was 33 and had lost a significant amount of weight which jump-started ovulation.  We started trying to get pregnant again when Quinn turned one and while I had not gained back the weight, the PCOS caught up to me–with a vengeance.  As much as I wanted another child, part of me felt like if it wasn’t going to happen on its own, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. My midwife referred me to the Reproductive Endocrinologist (R.E.) in the practice after several failed Clomid rounds (Clomid is an oral medication used to stimulate ovulation) and I procrastinated in making that appointment for a long time thinking–”it will surely happen next month”… Meanwhile, I wasn’t getting any younger and age is very unkind to a woman’s fertility!

Finally, we went to see the R.E. and learned that IVF was going to be our best chance to have another child–were we really prepared for the shots, the procedures, the hormonal tidal waves? We decided that since our insurance covered a good portion of the treatments, we’d give it a try.  We gave it three tries, to be exact. Our first cycle ended in miscarriage of twins (more on that in another post), our second cycle was a complete disaster–but the third time was the charm.  It often takes women several IVF cycles(five cycles is not unheard of) to achieve a healthy pregnancy, and my doctor really took the time to examine our case and make some small changes which seemed to do the trick. I am 24 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.

If I had to do it all again, I would have kicked my ambivalence to the curb immediately!  This can be a long process and hemming and hawing and anger and frustration only waste valuable time and energy. My son will be almost 6 when our second child is born–not the timing I would have chosen, but we are grateful for this child all the same. Luckily, we did not have to go far to find and great doctor and our insurance did cover a significant amount of the costly process. The support of my husband, family and friends also had a big impact–infertility rocked my world like no other struggle I have had to deal with,I needed all the emotional encouragement I could get.

To hear another woman’s brave battle with infertility, listen to this week’s PregTASTIC episode, featuring San Diego radio personality Sky Williams. Next week, Dr. Arlene Morales discusses infertility myths and facts. Plus, the most common fertility problems and medical treatments? And how to help friends and family members cope with infertility.