Are Evites okay for a shower?

[leyna]

I don't want to be considered rude, but people are much more likely to respond to an RSVP when it's on an Evite instead of a number on an invitation. Would it be considered tacky if I sent an Evite instead of paper invitations? (I know that a few people will want to have a paper invitation or won't have access to email which will be taken care of with a mailed invitation.)

What do you think?

Leyna

[ebhmommy]

That's a tough one, my mom just threw me my shower and about 20 people didn't RSVP. She invited 60 and there were alot of people that didn't RSVP to her but through other attendees but then never showed up. She ended up just having to plan for 40 people and hope that people had enough food if more than that showed up. I think people are just rude about not RSVP-ing to parties these days so saying that maybe people would be more likely to respond to a evite rather than calling a number. If people ask you why you sent evites you could approach it that evites are cheaper than regular card invites especially adding in the cost of the postage and the party itself and that with the coming baby you want to cut corners when you can. Personally I wouldnt be offended at all with an evite. But I'm young so I dont think it would be that big of a deal but maybe you would want to still send regular invites to grandparents and such. Hope that helps a little.

[KristaRae]

I think it depends on the recipients.

For example, we just had 2 showers. The first one was a bunch of older ladies from my parents' church - clearly NOT the right group of people to send evites to. :)

The second shower could have gone either way - there were several younger people that would have had no problem with and probably would have preferred an evite. However, there were several other women who might have considered it impolite or against all etiquette rules to send an invitation via email.

But whatever you decide, I hope you have a terrific shower! I love hearing about how your pregnancy is going, Leyna!

[starsd]

Hey Leyna,

I will have had two baby showers, when all is said and done. The first was entirely by evite, because everyone had email access. I only had three people rsvp yes and not come. All of the invitees were under 30ish and were used to using evites, so no one thought anything of getting the invitation by email.

The second one, which will happen in about three weeks, has a lot more invitees with no access to email or who are a little more traditional and would prefer a paper invite. So my best friend, who is throwing me the shower, is sending out both types. She is sending the evites to those with email and are cool with getting an invitation via email and sending the paper invite to the rest. It is seeming to work out well so far. Another bonus you get from having at least some paper invites being sent out is that there is something for the baby scrap book other than a computer print out of the evite.

So I guess the bottom line is to evaluate your invitees and know that there is the possibility of sending out both if you want to.

No matter what you decide on, I hope you have fun!

[Host_Patti]

Yes! Evites are perfect for your shower. If guests are not computer users send them an invitation which will probably cut down on lots of time for you.

Then you can spend your time writing thank you cards instead of invitations!

Patti

[leyna]

Thanks for all the great advice!! I actually sent out 18 paper invitations and got 2 RSVP's and then another 30 or so evites and got 17 RSVP's. And there are always a few people who don't respond no matter what you do and you end up calling them.

The grandmothers-to-be, close family members, and people without email did receive paper invitations at the minimum. A few others printed the evite.

Just a little update to how I handled the situation! Thanks again for all the great advice!

Leyna

[Pghmomof2]

Hello, I'm new to the Pregtastic website, but I've been listening to the PodCasts. I was intrigued by the e-vite question, but what about Thank you notes? Should those still be handwritten, or if e-vites are acceptable, are e-thanks?
Just curious. I look forward to getting involved.

Doreen

[leyna]

I would not recommend thank you notes through email. I think that is breaching impersonal. I think people really want a hand written note, complete with postage and hand addressed. Email is great for other occasions, but for saying thank you for the time/effort/money/thought that someone put into buying you a gift and taking it to you should be personal. After all, what else could you be doing as you are waiting for all that newborn laundry to dry?

Leyna

[marcel96]

I think evites are fine for a shower. As long as, like you said, the recipients without email/internet get a mailed invite. This is how I wanted my family to handle my shower. I asked them to send evites to save on paper and so that we would know better who was coming. But, they insisted on ordering printed invitations anyway...even though I didn't want that. So, I say, go for the evite! :)

On the subject of thank yous...I also would not recommend thank yous as far as emails. I think thank yous need to be hand written and sent snail mail. However, I did send a thank you to my best friend for a shower gift. She just moved from NJ to Puerto Rico and is in transit at the moment at her parents house. So, I don't really know where she is and when. I knew that she'd get the e-thank you sooner than a real thank you card. Plus, I don't know her new PR address yet. And, I knew she wouldn't mind.

[Becca_Mama2Elisabeth]

I guess I'm the odd man out - I'm also an etiquette freak - but I think evites are too impersonal. I also don't think it's appropriate for one to send out their own invitations - it's too much like you are trying to solicit your own gifts. My hostess mailed out paper invitations and followed up with those invited via email or phone. Not many people called to RSVP, but when she emailed reminders, everyone RSVP's (and subsequently showed up). I realize that in our technological age, most people wouldn't think twice about an email invitiation, but I'm old school ;).