Paranoia?

[blueenvy]

My doctor says I'm fine and totally healthy and everything is going the way it should, but I am insanely paranoid something will happen to my baby and that something might go wrong!

Anytime someone talks about miscarriage or stillbirth or losing a baby shortly after birth, I start freaking out and panicking, worried it will happen to my baby!

Is it normal to worry so much???

How can I stop worrying???

[preggers]

Hi Blueenvy,

When I was pg both times I always thought of things that could go wrong especially being an "older mom" at 38 with the first and 40 with the next. However as I went through the pregnancy I had reminders telling me things are ok like gaining enough weight, getting ultrasounds, amnios (if you do), heartbeat checks...

It's so easy to get anxious when there is so much information out there to inform us or I say scare us while pregnant. Vere away from that and search out the lighter, more enjoyable side of pregnancy. It's a miraculous, beautiful, time in your life and looking at the more positive side while keeping yourself healthy mentally and physically are going to keep you less worried and more excited to meet your little one.

So, yes it's normal to worry. to stop, think and research things that won't worry you like eating right, get fun maternity clothes, read about the baby developing, stay up on your dr. visits, talk to other pg. women about the "good stuff" or funny happenings. You can form your own pg group in your area to do this which I highly recommend. Take pics weekly in the same sideways position and keep track of the belly bump growing...

All the best to you,

Patti

[blueenvy]

Thanks! :D It helps a lot to know other people understand....The only problem I have is weigh gain. I lost weight since becoming pregnant....But I'm just now ending my first trimester....

[tingzon72]

Hi Blueenvy

I have been reading some of your other posts and understand a little of your paranoia.

In one post you say that your mom had wanted to adopt you out because your dad was in Bosnia. I don't think your mom should have told you that. But she did, and I think there is something unresolved there.

You want this baby so badly, and you have overcome so much to be here. You are recovering from an eating disorder, you are probably struggling with other issues as well such as abandonement and having been unwanted.

I have been there, done that! My mom constantly told me how I was her "accident". She had planned her 1st three pregnancies until she got her girl- my older sister. I came six years later, and, well it kept her tied to a man she no longer (actually, probably never) loved. I, too, had an eating disorder just prior to my pregnancy with my 1st kid. He, too, was an accident, but I will never tell him that. I didn't know if I wanted to keep him at first, but when I figured out that I did,I realized how badly I wanted a child. I had some horrible dreams that I would miscarry or that someone would kidnapp him, or that he would die of SIDS. Pregnancy dreams are very vivid, and I was very paralyzed by my fear.

I found that I needed therapy. I had to resolve many of these issues of having feeling unwanted- myself, in order to embrace my pregnancy fully! I recommend that you do the same for your own posterity, and for the baby. You don't want to transfer your fears to your child- I sure didn't want to!

Kudos to you for reaching out! We are all here for you and to some degree feel what you're going through! Good luck in your pregnancy and in your search for peace.

Namaste,
Veronica

[mrjwhit]

I feel you 100%. I am like that, too. DW is relaxing and I'm head tripping. Thanks for you honesty. You have to relax and just trust that everything related to this baby will happen just like it should. Your fear isn't rooted in reality. You just have to trust and have faith that you're exactly where you need to be and that that little precious one is going to be a real blessing.

[Smittenk]

Yep I was really paranoid during my first trimester. I found renting a heart doppler soo helpful. Starting at around 13 weeks I checked the heartbeat everyday...sometimes twice a day. Now that I am 23 weeks along and the baby is very active, I probably check it once a week just to hear it. Some people say they had problems finding the heartbeat so it made them more paranoid but not once did I not find the heartbeat. Sometimes it took a few minutes but I always found it and this took my paranoia away completely and I was able to relax.

[blueenvy]

I actually just ordered a heart monitor online....