I'll start...

marcel96 · 12-31-2008, 09:06 AM

Nobody told me how it would feel when I left the hospital with my little one. Nobody told me how bad the 'weepies' really are. My daugher will be 8 weeks old tomorrow. But, I'll be the first to say that it was really difficult and slow going when we first came home. The first day and a half in the hospital I was on a high and was so happy. Then the second night came around and we had to leave the next day and the weepies hit me with a huge force. My friend who had a baby a week before I did told me to prepare for a lot of unexplained crying. But, I had no idea! I would cry for seemingly no reason at all. I cried because had to go home from the hospital. I cried when the mean lactation consultant tried to 'help' me with breast feeding and was so abrasive, forceful, and frantic I wanted to tell her to get out. I cried because my daughter lost so much weight in the hospital. Then when we went home...I cried because we were home. I didn't get any sleep and I'm sure that didn't help. I cried a week later when my husband had to go back to work. Then I hemorraged (sp?) a week after having her and had to spend a night in the ER. I, of course, cried about that too. It was really scary. Nobody really tells you about what can happen after you have a baby. I think I cried the most when I went home because home didn't feel like it did before. It didn't feel like home. Even though I was home with my beautiful little girl and I love her more than anything in the world. It just didn't feel like home.

So, the crying pretty much stopped and things started feeling normal as we know it now about 3 weeks after coming home from the hospital. I never felt angry or like she was a mistake. I have always loved her and felt blessed and happy to have her. It is just a real adjustment that no amount of reading or podcasting can really prepare you for.

Now, after getting settled in with my little one and being more comfortable alone at home with her I am starting to deal with the reality of going back to work in 2 1/2 weeks. I do not want to. But, I have to. It will be hard to go back and it will be extra hard to take her to daycare. The place we have chosen has the highest rating that NC gives and is very nice. However, I just am afraid she will need me and I won't be there at the moment she needs me. I'm also afraid of her not recognizing mommy and daddy when she comes home. But, all of our friends have done it and their children are fine for it. I understand that this is just another difficult emotional stage that working mommies and daddies have to deal with and try to get through.

skipnjif · 01-01-2009, 08:23 PM

When my first baby was born, I cried to my husband's mother that I was CONVINCED that he (my hubby) didn't love me anymore because I was flabby and gross and all he had wanted me for was to have a child. (my MIL was as compassionate and reassuring as anyone could be and didn't even giggle...though she certainly could have). When my next baby was born 19 months later, I cried because my mom and MIL had been caring for my son while I was in the hospital and didn't give me a detailed account of EVERYTHING that had gone on. I was devastated to have missed two days of his life and was sure he preferred EVERYONE over me.

I think the reason people don't tell you these things is because they sort of forget....memory retention is hard to come by when you're so tired and so much changes in such a short time, that you tend to feel more and more removed from those early days of you baby's life. Which is probably a good thing....they're certainly a bit challenging!

1stTimeMommy · 05-07-2009, 05:04 PM

I must say, of all the birth stories I've heard and the 'joys' of being a new parent, the first few weeks (first week especially) postpartum are TOTALLY unexpected. Don't get me wrong - I love being a mom to my little girl and don't regret anything - but nobody tells you about the hard stuff after the baby is born (except getting no sleep, which is a given!) We wanted to get home from the hospital so bad, but when we got home, things just seemed to spiral downhill. Like marcel96 said, it just didn't feel like 'home' anymore, and this new version of 'home' would be something I would have to get used to.
I had a picture of being a new mom as myself all snuggled up with an adorable, cuddly, quiet baby smiling at me and loving my every move, but that is a totally unrealistic picture. This baby has no idea of all the time and energy you're giving for her, and can't really give anything back in return, other than the satisfaction of knowing this little person needs you, which sometimes doesn't seem so satisfying at all.
Now that I think about it though, I understand why nobody tells you about this part ... why scare a new Mom? But I think I would have liked to know that after the labour and delivery are over, that's not the end of the hard stuff. The labour was my first true taste of perseverance and testing my patience, (my contractions started at 4:00 am on Sunday morning, and she was born Tuesday at 7:51 pm...64 hours with no pain relief) and now I get to practice those skills everyday.

Now at 6 weeks, I'm starting to get into the groove and it does't feel like I'm just in survival mode anymore (like Faith's husband said in Episode 55)...I'm starting to see the light!!

Kate8 · 05-07-2009, 08:56 PM

When my baby was born, one friend told me the bad stage peaks at 6 weeks. Another said it will get worse before it gets better. Although these both sound negative, these statements got me through it. I knew that even though things felt bad, that was normal. And I knew that it would get better. Thanks for good friends!

starsd · 05-24-2009, 07:47 PM

Is it weird not to have experienced Baby Blues? I feel odd woman out. Any one else seemingly miss this part of motherhood?

skipnjif · 05-27-2009, 08:06 PM

starsd- by my third baby, I didn't really feel much of the baby blues, but I still had a lot of that hormonal flux.

My third baby was born four months ago. I was recently contemplating the first few weeks after baby is born and realized that, really, I don't enjoy it all that much. Most of us feel uncomfortable in our stretched- out, bloated bodies; we're leaking various unpleasantries; we're dealing with family/husbands/other children who are excited and adjusting themselves; our hormones are as unstable as humanly possible; we are trying to learn about this very small, very demanding, often irritable person; we are basically sequestered to our homes for awhile; we are falling into new roles as moms; and we have virtually no sleep to do it all on. The one reward for all this fun is the precious little moments when your baby snuggles and stares at you.

The good news is that this time really does only last 4-6 weeks. Then, it seems, as your baby starts to smile and become more responsive, the clouds start to part again and life enters a new stage of normal.

12-31-2008, 09:06 AM	#1
marcel96 Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 40	I'll start... Nobody told me how it would feel when I left the hospital with my little one. Nobody told me how bad the 'weepies' really are. My daugher will be 8 weeks old tomorrow. But, I'll be the first to say that it was really difficult and slow going when we first came home. The first day and a half in the hospital I was on a high and was so happy. Then the second night came around and we had to leave the next day and the weepies hit me with a huge force. My friend who had a baby a week before I did told me to prepare for a lot of unexplained crying. But, I had no idea! I would cry for seemingly no reason at all. I cried because had to go home from the hospital. I cried when the mean lactation consultant tried to 'help' me with breast feeding and was so abrasive, forceful, and frantic I wanted to tell her to get out. I cried because my daughter lost so much weight in the hospital. Then when we went home...I cried because we were home. I didn't get any sleep and I'm sure that didn't help. I cried a week later when my husband had to go back to work. Then I hemorraged (sp?) a week after having her and had to spend a night in the ER. I, of course, cried about that too. It was really scary. Nobody really tells you about what can happen after you have a baby. I think I cried the most when I went home because home didn't feel like it did before. It didn't feel like home. Even though I was home with my beautiful little girl and I love her more than anything in the world. It just didn't feel like home. So, the crying pretty much stopped and things started feeling normal as we know it now about 3 weeks after coming home from the hospital. I never felt angry or like she was a mistake. I have always loved her and felt blessed and happy to have her. It is just a real adjustment that no amount of reading or podcasting can really prepare you for. Now, after getting settled in with my little one and being more comfortable alone at home with her I am starting to deal with the reality of going back to work in 2 1/2 weeks. I do not want to. But, I have to. It will be hard to go back and it will be extra hard to take her to daycare. The place we have chosen has the highest rating that NC gives and is very nice. However, I just am afraid she will need me and I won't be there at the moment she needs me. I'm also afraid of her not recognizing mommy and daddy when she comes home. But, all of our friends have done it and their children are fine for it. I understand that this is just another difficult emotional stage that working mommies and daddies have to deal with and try to get through.

05-07-2009, 08:56 PM	#4
Kate8 Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 33	advice from friends When my baby was born, one friend told me the bad stage peaks at 6 weeks. Another said it will get worse before it gets better. Although these both sound negative, these statements got me through it. I knew that even though things felt bad, that was normal. And I knew that it would get better. Thanks for good friends!

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01-01-2009, 08:23 PM	#2
skipnjif Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 141	When my first baby was born, I cried to my husband's mother that I was CONVINCED that he (my hubby) didn't love me anymore because I was flabby and gross and all he had wanted me for was to have a child. (my MIL was as compassionate and reassuring as anyone could be and didn't even giggle...though she certainly could have). When my next baby was born 19 months later, I cried because my mom and MIL had been caring for my son while I was in the hospital and didn't give me a detailed account of EVERYTHING that had gone on. I was devastated to have missed two days of his life and was sure he preferred EVERYONE over me. I think the reason people don't tell you these things is because they sort of forget....memory retention is hard to come by when you're so tired and so much changes in such a short time, that you tend to feel more and more removed from those early days of you baby's life. Which is probably a good thing....they're certainly a bit challenging!

05-07-2009, 05:04 PM	#3
1stTimeMommy Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 28	I must say, of all the birth stories I've heard and the 'joys' of being a new parent, the first few weeks (first week especially) postpartum are TOTALLY unexpected. Don't get me wrong - I love being a mom to my little girl and don't regret anything - but nobody tells you about the hard stuff after the baby is born (except getting no sleep, which is a given!) We wanted to get home from the hospital so bad, but when we got home, things just seemed to spiral downhill. Like marcel96 said, it just didn't feel like 'home' anymore, and this new version of 'home' would be something I would have to get used to. I had a picture of being a new mom as myself all snuggled up with an adorable, cuddly, quiet baby smiling at me and loving my every move, but that is a totally unrealistic picture. This baby has no idea of all the time and energy you're giving for her, and can't really give anything back in return, other than the satisfaction of knowing this little person needs you, which sometimes doesn't seem so satisfying at all. Now that I think about it though, I understand why nobody tells you about this part ... why scare a new Mom? But I think I would have liked to know that after the labour and delivery are over, that's not the end of the hard stuff. The labour was my first true taste of perseverance and testing my patience, (my contractions started at 4:00 am on Sunday morning, and she was born Tuesday at 7:51 pm...64 hours with no pain relief) and now I get to practice those skills everyday. Now at 6 weeks, I'm starting to get into the groove and it does't feel like I'm just in survival mode anymore (like Faith's husband said in Episode 55)...I'm starting to see the light!!

05-24-2009, 07:47 PM	#5
starsd Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: San Diego Posts: 29	Is it weird not to have experienced Baby Blues? I feel odd woman out. Any one else seemingly miss this part of motherhood?

05-27-2009, 08:06 PM	#6
skipnjif Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 141	starsd- by my third baby, I didn't really feel much of the baby blues, but I still had a lot of that hormonal flux. My third baby was born four months ago. I was recently contemplating the first few weeks after baby is born and realized that, really, I don't enjoy it all that much. Most of us feel uncomfortable in our stretched- out, bloated bodies; we're leaking various unpleasantries; we're dealing with family/husbands/other children who are excited and adjusting themselves; our hormones are as unstable as humanly possible; we are trying to learn about this very small, very demanding, often irritable person; we are basically sequestered to our homes for awhile; we are falling into new roles as moms; and we have virtually no sleep to do it all on. The one reward for all this fun is the precious little moments when your baby snuggles and stares at you. The good news is that this time really does only last 4-6 weeks. Then, it seems, as your baby starts to smile and become more responsive, the clouds start to part again and life enters a new stage of normal.