Posted by KC Wilt on August 10, 2010

Making a Baby Isn’t Always Easy

As we geared up to let the world in on our little secret I was nervous, excited, and above all I wanted to be considerate and understanding to every woman out there. This last year, while living in Korea, I was reminded every time I saw a status update or an email from a friend or family member of a new pregnancy for them, I rejoiced for them, but ached for us. They did something we couldn’t do; which was conceive a child.

I was reminded (or kept reminding myself) that my story is different from everyone else in the world. I take pride in my life’s story thus far at how different it is from most people I know. Yet, as we tried for a child and discovered problems, I desperately wanted to have a normal story. I’ve been poked and prodded, x-rayed and drugged and in broken English was told to expect multiples, only to baffle the doctors as to why not one fertilized egg wanted to make my uterus its home. I felt like I’ve been playing God, messing with His divine plan, and praying that my decisions would not affect His outcome.

So, after being told our best option would be in-vitro-fertilization, the hope of having a normal conception seemed unlikely. As a couple, we were not ready (emotional or financially) for that decision, yet we were not giving up hope that God had a plan for us; whether that was natural, IVF, or adoption.

Then, a friend in Korea gave us a book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. A book that I resisted reading (why take my temperature to learn when I ovulate when a Dr. looks at my eggs with an ultrasound and tells me?!). But, reading this book forever changed our lives. Through taking my temperature I learned a few things. First, the Dr. had the day of ovulation wrong (who would think my eggs could lie to a Doctor!) Which meant, secondly, the last phase of my cycle (the luteal phase) was too short. In essence, I was getting pregnant but my uterine lining would shed too early. In discovering this I felt empowered (but scared I was crazy) and promptly bought some new vitamins to help with the luteal phase. And bam…. pregnant!

There were a few more things that were happening in my body that prevented us from conceiving while in Korea. Mid cycle bleeding because my uterus was too thin, getting put on birth control for a hormonal imbalance, poor cervical mucus which meant our ‘window’ was smaller (huge problem), stress, etc; any number of factors that made getting pregnant near impossible. I wonder how long I would have gone on in my life thinking I was barren when my somewhat simple problem could be fixed. I just discovered one problem that I could try to restore. I know not everyone has a problem that can be fixed with vitamins. I’ve also learned I can’t look at others successes and failures and measure myself up against them. Which is so easy to do when they all have what you want. I am reminded that they are walking their story and I am walking mine.

The one hope I clung to during this process was that one day when I would be holding my perfect child in my arms, at no other time, no other month, no other cycle, in my life could we have created that being. I felt peace that this bumpy road we walked along would end in a perfect plan that I would never be able to create.

Now we rejoice for our little miracle that is growing inside. Still in shock, but amazed at the plan that is unfolding. But my tears remain even as I write this. I cry for the ache we went through and for the struggle many of my dear friends are currently in. However, I am so looking forward to reading the end of their story.

To learn more about infertility and how to overcome the odds, listen to this week’s PregTASTIC episode featuring Dr. Arlene Morales, Founder and Director of Fertility Specialists Medical Group in San Diego.

4 Comments »

1. I love this story, KC. I very much relate to not wanting to interfere with God’s plan–in my mind I’m just not always sure how much to just leave in His hands and how much I should be taking charge of.
   I agree–Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book, there are so many reasons why women have trouble conceiving and some aren’t really that complicated when you understand the way your body works. In my case it’s more the way my body DOESN’T work, lol.
   Best of luck to you KC–I will always remember the way you inspired me during my ultrasound–that I would NOT be leaving with unanswered questions, lol!!
   Lyssa

   Comment by Lyssa — August 10, 2010 @ 11:15 pm

2. Hey KC,
   Congrats. Taking charge of your fertility is the best book ever! It why I have two awesome boys! I had some of the same struggles, only to figure out finally how my body worked. I tell everyone about it. Plus there is something empowering about taking control! -nicole

   Comment by Nicole Meador — August 12, 2010 @ 8:52 am

3. Thanks so much for your support. It’s always a little nerve-wracking when you put yourself out there. :)
   I had some good people around me while I was having treatments. They encouraged me that if I had medical problem of any other kind, i’d have no problem accepting treatment and/or medicine. I don’t know if I ever would have gone to the doctor to help me conceive, only because I had visible problems that I needed to address; which led to the realization that something was wrong.
   When they put me on clomid I was uncertain at first with interfering with ‘nature’ or my body, but my mom told me that they put her on it and she conceived my brother (which then ‘jump-started’ her system and my brother and i were born). I couldn’t look at my brother and not believe he wasn’t meant to be here.
   But in the end, trusting that God is God and He will only allow His plan to happen, regardless of my decisions. Pretty humbling.
   And that same thing is a reminder today when I get overwhelmed with pregnancy or the upcoming parenthood. It was at this time and no other time that my baby was made.

   Also after resisting TCOYF for so long it’s ironic that I think every girl at age 13 should read it!! Simple things about my body that I should have known all along, not mid to late 20′s!
   Thanks again girls for your comments and inspiring stories!
   KC

   Comment by KC — August 12, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

4. Reminds me of what happened to myself. It was really hard for us to conceive a child and we really looked for fertility books. We were really praying to God to give us a child. We were so happy when it was granted.

   Early Pregnancy Symptoms

   Comment by Anne — August 19, 2010 @ 8:48 pm

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