What has been most surprising to you about your pregnant wife or about pregnancy in general? 

I was surprised by how big she got, especially towards the last few months.  I told a good friend about my surprise and then he later confided to me that he was also surprised by how big his wife became when they were expecting.  My wife became more beautiful with all that shiny hair and glowing skin.  And even though she complained a lot about her belly, I think it is beautiful.  Not necessarily sexy, but definitely beautiful.   She became more beautiful.

How would you compare this pregnancy to #1 and #2?

She ate a ton of clementines with the first one.  One crate after another!  I couldn’t keep up with maintaining a steady supply in the kitchen.  We have two kids to chase now but since she’s not working (as she did with the previous pregnancies), I guess it evens out in some ways.  Also, because she’s not working outside the home, she’s not as stressed out.

What do you love about pregnancy?

The baby at the end.  It’s also fun to see everybody else getting excited for us when we share the news about the pregnancy.

What has been a crazy or unusual craving from your wife?

She wanted hot wings, which we’ve never ordered or made at home.  So we ordered hot wings with various degrees of spiciness.

What pregnancy-related request do you get regularly?

A back-rub.  Also, picking the kids up into and out of places (e.g., the bath tub, car seat, booster seat, carousel, toilet) gets too hard as her belly starts to weigh her down.  Hence, the back-rub.

Which trimester is the most difficult for you (to witness) as husband?

The first is hard to watch because she’s so tired and, with this pregnancy (a boy), the nausea hit her hard.  She didn’t have that with the girls.  The nausea seemed really intense for about 2 months and she also couldn’t drink coffee, which she loves. I’m not a coffee drinker, but if I had a Pepsi-aversion, that would be rough.  The third trimester is also tough to watch because of the big belly, but she still tries to do everything, especially when the “nesting” instinct kicks in.

My husband and I just had the biggest fight of our marriage…

I want a third….

He is done…

There is no such thing as a compromise here…

One of us will back down…

It was me…

Thank you to my friends and family who say: there is hope. He might change his mind. He will see thing differently once you start selling things off. He might not want one right now but later on…

I know, this chapter is closed…

…and it is painful.

It was amazing timely that “Octomom” appeared on Oprah this past week. I learned a lot about myself…

I learned that being pregnant was the most WONDERFUL endeavor in my life, both times. I got to plan a future, buy and assemble baby gear, shop online, read reviews, WRITE reviews, journal every fleeting moment, imagine the 3 year future, 5 year, 10 year, 20 year…

I went on PregTASTIC to record my story…

I blogged, took pictures, prepared with every ounce of excitement that became me…

I understand Natalie Oreman’s enchantment with babies….

Any mother would….

How can you possibly resist that intoxicating smell, cry, finger holding, bundle of hope!!??

Why wouldn’t I want a third? Fourth? Fifth?

WHEN DOES IT STOP?

We can afford another, but the other two would affected. (“Suffer” would be a word my husband would use.) We look forward to camping, snowboarding, hiking, Disneyland, family bike rides, kid birthday parties, sleepovers, cooking together, and all the things that would be impacted by waiting for another sibling to be old enough.

Brian, my husband, has flat out said that he, “hates the baby phase,” and that “Garrett is finally becoming fun.” Ouch….

I LOVE the baby “phase.” Those playful moments at the breast. The sparks of personality. Those exciting firsts.

There is nothing in the world to replace them. These moments have made me understand my own mortality and admiration for human life! I know how I feel about my parents. And when I compare that to how I feel about my kids, it’s overwhelming! It’s not fair. Nolan and Garrett will never feel the feelings I have towards them until they feel it for their own children. It’s cruel.

I know they are going to leave me one day. Nolan is already (2 and 1/2), practicing goodbyes and passing out hugs as he gets on his scooter car and pretends to drive to Nana’s house. The husband just laughs at me as I fight back tears to this imaginary game.

I hear things like… “you already have this perfect family, why would you…” or “everything is made for a family of four….” or “just because you came from a family of three siblings doesn’t mean….” I DON’T CARE! I can shoot each and every one of those arguments down.

I am trying to tell myself that the family of four is okay. It is fulfilling. I won’t be spit in so many directions. Nolan and Garrett will get more of me and dad. They will have each other.

My question is…Why do people stop having kids? They are so intoxicating. (Mind you I never had my heart set out on having them in the first place. I was career oriented as are my friends.) Is it one partner’s decision? Is it usually the guy? (I imagine they are all financial.) Are the guy’s reasons different from the girl’s? Am I diluting myself into thinking I could do this again?

What are the reasons people stop having kids?