Topic Archive: lactation

August 22, 2010

My Breast Was Not Best

I am a big supporter of breastfeeding. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed my newborn son. Back then, I thought women who said they “couldn’t”, were just not given the support and education they needed, that they lacked the commitment and sacrifice needed to establish a good milk supply and routine. I was in for quite a rude awakening.

We did all the “right things” when Quinn was born–we were skin to skin almost immediately, he was latched on within his first 30 minutes of life, and I religiously logged how long he was on each breast. Soon however, I watched my sweet newborn turn an interesting shade of yellow and wondered if his tiny, very absorbant little diaper had any urine in it–it can be hard to tell (I love the nurse who taught me to place a tissue in the diaper to see if was wet). They sent me home assuming that my milk was just slow to come in.

The details are a bit fuzzy almost 5 years later, but I know there was very little sleep and much worry that my son was starving and I was to blame. Our pediatrician had a lactation consultant who was immensely helpful–she set me up with a turbo-charged, hospital grade breast pump and a supplemental feeding system.  Another lactation consultant and friend told me what herbs to take, how much water to drink and I followed all orders as directed–to the point of what felt like insanity.

Despite all of these interventions, my milk never came in. I cried tears of guilt and shame as I doomed my baby to a life of ear infections and decreased intelligence. It was a whole new level of failure to know that I was depriving my child of this essential concoction which Mother Nature had intended for his optimal growth and development.

I do support breastfeeding and my mind understands and supports the zealous campaigning being done to promote it. My heart still feels sad that Quinn and I began our bond together distressed over the fact that my body just would not work the “right” way. We moms are all in this to grow healthy babies. The breast is best, it is good for the baby and good  for the mom–but,  if breastfeeding is not possible, it is reassuring to know that a formula fed little munchkin can turn into a healthy, vibrant child who has only had two ear infections in five years and is well-bonded with his mommy.

August 8, 2010

Confessions of a Nursing Mom

By Jessica

I don’t like breastfeeding.

There, I said it.

Alert the Bad-Mom Police if you must.

When I was pregnant, I imagined what breastfeeding would be like. Baby Charlie would nurse as we sat in a sunbeam in the warm afternoon sun. There’d be soft music in the air, most likely sung by angels. A warm glow would surround us as we oozed love for one another, and I’d be at peace knowing that I was giving my son the best nutrition that nature could produce.

Ha!

As cliche as this sounds, breastfeeding would be much more satisfying if it weren’t so damn difficult. And Charlie and I were beset with problems from the start.

My labor was loooong (listen to my birth story on PregTASTIC), and painful, and the aftermath was pretty brutal, too. Like all moms, I fumbled the first few times nursing him. The hospital nurses told me different things. I asked twice to see a lactation consultant, but she never came.

Then I didn’t sleep for several days. And I don’t mean I barely slept, or only caught cat naps here and there. I DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL FOR SEVERAL DAYS. Zero. Zilch. The lack of sleep triggered crazy anxiety, which only exacerbated the insomnia.

Through all of this, Charlie was desperately hungry and constantly screaming. My milk hadn’t come in by his wellness check four days later, and he’d already lost more than a pound. We began supplementing at the breast. Charlie stopped screaming.

On day six (after I finally got some sleep) my milk came in dribbled in. I put him to the breast at every opportunity to increase my supply, but we were hit with the typical problems: It was painful. My nipples bled constantly. I couldn’t figure out how to hold him. He couldn’t figure out the latch. When he finally latched, he’d fall asleep instantly and nothing – not even touching his skin with an ice-cold glass of water  – could rouse him. I was angry and exasperated and deflated and stressed out of my mind. I wanted to strangle people who told me, “Just relax. The baby can feel your tension, you know.”

When I pumped, I’d only get about half an ounce – total. At this point, he was easily guzzling three ounces of formula/pumped milk every 2-3 hours. There was no way I could keep up. I felt guilty. I felt like a failure. I felt like a bad mother.

Things got better once I saw a lactation consultant. She showed me how to get Charlie to latch, and for the first time I thought, “I can do this!” When I saw the consultant a week later, we were both doing much better. To increase my shred of a supply, she recommended fenugreek and mother’s milk tea. She even lent me a hospital-grade pump!

And my milk did increase. Slightly. Instead of pumping half an ounce total every 2-3 hours, I now get something closer to one ounce per breast. At 10 weeks, Charlie is eating four (combo of formula/pumped milk).

Yet now he’s started to reject me when I try to nurse him. Sometimes he has complete meltdowns if I put him in ANY nursing position, even sitting up. Or he’ll latch, suck a few times, then scream, pull back, and pound his fists against me as if trying to get away. I’ve attempted all of the tips on all of the web sites: breast compressions, expressing before he latches, skin to skin, every position imaginable, dietary changes, breaks. I’ve bared it all in front of fellow mamas who’ve unsuccessfully tried to help. Suffice it to say, I have another call into the lactation consultant.

So, as you see, breastfeeding is not fun for me. There’s no sunbeam. There’s no oozing of love. I’m usually stressed, or fighting an angry baby, or fighting feelings of failure and rejection. During the good nursing sessions, I’m on edge, expecting the melt down. I cry occasionally. I want to quit constantly.

But every day I reaffirm my commitment to nursing Charlie. I don’t care if he only gets one ounce a day from me; he’s going to get that ounce, and he’s going to like it. I am deeply committed, despite how difficult it is for me. I believe too much in the importance of breast milk. I’m too damn stubborn.

Each day that I don’t quit is another victory for me and for Charlie. Each day I take the time to congratulate myself. Breastfeeding is by far the most challenging thing I’ve ever done in my life, but it’s also given me a great deal of pride.

And that’s something even the Bad-Mom Police can get behind.

Episode 167 | March 11, 2010

Baby Carriers. Find the perfect carrier for you!

Baby slings, wraps, pouches, oh my! The Maya, Moby, Baby Bjorn, Ergo, The Peanut shell… So many to choose from, but which carrier will suit you best? Will you be the only one using it? What’s your budget? And, will you carry your baby on your hip, in the front, or on your back? Vera Casey from babywearingsandiego.com is this weeks baby carrier expert.    (YOU CAN LISTEN/DOWNLOAD THE AUDIO PODCAST OR WATCH ON VIDEO)

Episode 151 | August 18, 2009

Breastfeeding Pt. 3 of 3: Breastfeeding Positions & Proper Latch-On Skills – PLUS WIN A BABYHAWK BABY CARRIER!

During the early weeks, optimal positioning and a proper latch are especially important. When you and your baby are well positioned and latched correctly, your nipples stay healthy and your baby can feed most efficiently. Eve Moran, this week’s breastfeeding expert, joins us with information, tips and techniques on the proper way to position and hold your baby while breastfeeding and the importance of a proper latch. Plus your chance to win a 100% organic baby carrier from BabyHawk.   SHOW NOTES

Episode 150 | August 10, 2009

Breastfeeding Pt. 2 of 3: Tips for a Healthy Breastfeeding Diet

A mom’s healthy, balanced diet is essential for future breastfeeding. Mothers often have questions about which foods are important to eat and which foods should be avoided when nursing their babies. What are some helpful nutritional guidelines? How important is calcium, iron, protein? What foods and snacks are best? And the importance of staying hydrated. April Boyle, a board certified lactation consultant and registered dietitian is this week’s expert.   Show Notes

Episode 149 | August 4, 2009

Breastfeeding Pt. 1 of 3: Breastfeeding Basics

Breastfeeding Basics: What are some advantages for both mom and baby? When will your milk come in? How much and how often should you feed your newborn? When should you consider purchasing a breast pump, bottles and other breastfeeding gear? When is your window of opportunity to introduce a bottle? Plus, common breastfeeding hiccups and ways to overcome them. Is there a genetic factor? Dr. Eyla Boise, Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at University California San Diego School of Medicine is this weeks breastfeeding expert.

Episode 65 | August 28, 2007

Notes From a Lactation Consultant

When should you hire a lactation consultant? How to handle those offering well meaning advice. How to tell family that you may not want to have visitors right after giving birth. What’s up with underwire bras? And, another PregTASTIC contest! This week’s guest, Margaret Goebel is the owner of “The Sweetest Milk” Lactation Consulting business.

Episode 64 | August 20, 2007

Dr. Jack Newman & Helping Mothers Achieve Their Breastfeeding Goals

What are two basic principles to understanding breastfeeding? How do they help new mothers? Leading lactation expert, Dr. Jack Newman discusses why there is more to BF than the breastmilk. Plus, breastfeeding myths, common problems, milk banks and more!

Episode 62 | August 6, 2007

Early Initiation of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding within the first hours after birth. The importance of the latch and colostrum. Breastfeeding right after a c-section? Lactation Consultant, Annie VerSteeg, addresses these concerns. Plus, tube/finger feeding, nipple confusion, and thrush.