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February 2, 2011
January 17, 2011 10:10am Anna Josephine is born. She is 6lb, 3 oz and 18″. Twelve minutes later, her brother Connor Joseph 6lb, 4 oz and 18″ greets the world.
A few days before the babies’ birth I had been reading up on labor and came across something I had either forgotten or never knew. “Sometimes labor starts with a big kick.” Around 6:20am, I was going to the bathroom for what seemed like the 100th time and felt a bizarre kick. It was like nothing I had felt before – more like an internal shifting of tectonic plates. A few minutes later, back in bed, I felt the urge to go to the bathroom again. When I stood up, there was a gush of clear fluid and my water had broken.
January 9, 2011
While most people are excitedly ringing in the New Year, I’m ringing in the arrival of a very important milestone for my twin pregnancy: the 35 week mark.
My hospital automatically transfers patients who go into labor before 35 weeks to a bigger more-equipped facility in Providence, RI, about a 45 minute drive from my house. My local Newport Hospital is a convenient 5 minutes away. So, there’s the wicked close factor that pleases me about hitting 35 weeks.
Also, of course, 35 weeks is a big deal for the twinnies and obviously that’s really what I am most concerned about. 35 weeks is considered full term for twins. The average twin pair is born at 35 weeks…so if I continue on, I’ll have above average babies! No really, snarky comments aside, it’s a big deal to hit full term no matter how many kiddos reside in the womb. Since so many twins and higher order multiples are born pre-term, I’m psyched to have left that worry in the dust.
December 18, 2010
“I had loved that during my first pregnancy and one day near the end of term was lamenting the loss of that feeling to my husband. He said, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you another one.” Little did we know, he’d get me another 2. “
December 1, 2010
Over the course of my first two trimesters, I experienced mild, but not daily, heartburn. Just as it had 2 years ago with my first pregnancy, persistent, intense heartburn welcomed me to my third trimester the very day it began. How delightful! Thank goodness there are over the counter and prescription medications that pregnant women can take to get some relief.
I was thinking of doing a comparison piece on my second trimester experiences – singleton vs. twin. But it would have read something like this…
Singleton symptoms second trimester: Extra libido
Twin symptoms second trimester: All of them. Leg, back, and foot cramps/spasms, Braxton Hicks contractions, headaches, increased stuffiness/sniffles, exhaustion, pre-term labor, lack of libido, hot flashes, carpal tunnel syndrome, sciatica, varicose and spider veins, plantar fasciitis, constant wetness in my panties, leaking colostrum. I know there are more, but I’ll quit there. Oh yeah – absent-mindedness!
My current stats:
Both kiddos were head-down last time, but the boy may have moved. He’s Baby B and not quite as lodged into the vertex position as his sister. They are both very active, squirmy little snakes who truly dance a jig when I lie down. Not the best timing, but usually pretty enjoyable all the same.
So, I’ve gained 30lbs and there’s no telling how much more I’ll gain before the end. Of course I’m hoping for a huge drop along with delivery, but I’m also a little nervous of hitting 200. Perhaps this is unreasonable, but it’s there. I’m not a thin woman, I have more of a thick, athletic, size 10 figure and have never really been terribly concerned about my weight because I work out and eat well. I consider myself pretty healthy-minded when it comes to my body. But there is a fear that comes with the continual uptick of the numbers on the scale. I know that it is best for my babies and I’m cool with all that, but, dang…uncharted territory!
Third trimester is by turns exciting and dull. I’ve been here before, but with much more energy. Of course I want the babies to stay cooking as long as possible, but I wouldn’t mind if the days passed a little quicker. Being exhausted and feeling enormous for the next 10 weeks just doesn’t appeal to me. At least it’s not summer. Our house doesn’t have A/C and I would be beyond miserable.
As far as fun stuff goes, right now I’m getting pretty pumped for delivery. My first experience with it was ideal and I felt so incredibly empowered and ecstatic afterward. Labor and delivery was about 8 hours total, with maybe 15 minutes of pushing. I was able to do it drug-free and had a wonderful partner and coach in my husband. This time around, the experience will be very different in terms of setting, but I’m hopeful that I can have a healthy, drug-free vaginal birth again. If not, I’ll be just fine having had the experience once. Ideal really is all about a healthy kid (or two), right?
At my hospital, twins are born in the operating room, not the delivery room. Since twin births are high risk and sometimes necessitate surgical intervention, the powers that be decided that it’s just easier to have the labor/delivery carried out in the OR. There will also be a team of around 20 doctors, nurses, techs and others assisting me and each baby. It’ll be a bit crowded and not quite the intimate, low-light, minimal monitoring experience I knew and liked just fine.
We’re also getting set up with all the gear that we’ll need for two infants. We’re pretty thrilled to remain mini-van free for the time being as we just recently determined that all 3 car seats will fit in our car. It was touch and go there for a minute because our existing Britax car seat for our daughter is too wide to share the row with 2 Graco infant seats. Researched mini-vans, got depressed…researched bigger SUVs, got depressed. Basically there was no new car that would make me happy. So, duh, I finally switched the research to narrow car seats and found the Sunshine Kids Radian. It’s awesome! My daughter likes it since she can climb in by herself and it will allow enough space for 2 other infant seats or 2 new Radians.
Other than that, our gear will mostly transfer over from Maya, with some doubling here and there. We’re still researching double strollers and the main hangup with those is deciding if Maya will need to have a toddler seat attached. I have no idea how long she’ll be strolling past the birth of the twins, but I’d rather be prepared in the event that she does want to stroll. Of course that adds a good $350 to an already expensive double stroller. Thank goodness we don’t have to buy a new car!
Here’s hoping all you other 3rd trimester mommies are doing great and getting lots of rest. Until the nesting kicks in, that is.
November 15, 2010
Most grandparents are super just the way they are. But there are some ways that you can become a truly phenomenal grandparent who gets to enjoy loads of quality time with your grandkids.
First, my story. Then, some advice.
I am typing from my parents’ beachfront condo north of Ft Lauderdale, FL. My 21 month old daughter is swimming in the ocean with her grandparents and I can hear her squeals of delight from the balcony. Obviously not everyone gets to enjoy such a fantastic situation, but my post today encourages grandparents to make a concerted effort in the “making visits as easy and fun as possible” department.
We got here yesterday, leaving Rhode Island with snow on the ground. I’m overcoming a sinus infection and I’m sure the warmth and gentle humidity as well as the great food and mandatory napping are helping speed along the recovery. We’ll stay until just after Thanksgiving.
Not every grandparent has such a desirable location to visit. Clearly I’m quite lucky in that regard. However, this is easily overcome if you espouse the super-helper attitude of my parents when it comes to their adult children and grandchildren. Their home is a haven for kids. There’s an abundance of kid supplies and necessities: car seats of every size, crib, pack-n-play, toddler air mattress, toys, books, highchair, pool toys, kid table & chairs, kid cups & plates, baby dolls, stuffed animals, tub toys and hooded towels, diapers, wipes, etc. It means I can pack next to nothing and arrive in the fully-stocked lap of luxury. It means my siblings and I can make the tedious effort to fly or drive thousands of miles with children in tow with smiles on our faces and anticipation in our hearts instead of being stressed or grumbling about obligation or disrupted sleep schedules.
Any ho-hum hamlet is worth visiting if it means the kids have fun and the parents get a break. Getting a break is exactly what my parents have in mind for their adult children and it is a phenomenal gift to visit and take a load off. Like I said, napping is an order here. Not so in my own house where there are chores and a demanding toddler. For the next three weeks, when Maya wakes up from her nap and I want to sleep more, there is someone to take her to play or run errands or go to the beach. She gets more attention and love, I get much needed rest.
Almost two years ago as we prepared for the birth of our daughter, my husband and I had the romantic notion that we could do it all ourselves and nest as a new little family. Then we found out that he’d deploy 10 days after she was born. I called my Mom and she made the trek over to Japan in a flash. This first visit was amazing. Her general attitude was that she was there to help me – by taking care of everything else so that I could bond with my new baby, she made those first few weeks of motherhood much less stressful and enjoyable. She was an ideal house guest and helper, more like a Mommy nurse than the average grandma. I was sad to see her go, but thrilled about our new relationship. I will always be her baby and she has been a wonderful example of continued mothering, even at this late date!
Many grandparents feel they’ve been waiting forever to have grandkids are so excited to see the new babies. I caution that new parents need more love and attention than the babies do at first. It is not helpful to hold the baby all day while the new parent does laundry, dishes, cooks and cleans. Parents need to get comfortable being the primary caregivers and grandparents can assist this development by being somewhat hands-off in the beginning. Believe me, you will be handsomely rewarded with access to your grandkids and a better relationship with your adult children.
Purchase a few items to make visits to your house/car easier. You can start small – a portable play yard or crib and convertible car seat with a wide weight range will do the trick for a long time. Eventually a child’s seat for feeding will also be needed. Build up a small reserve of books or toys over time.
Baby the new parents, not the new baby. Ask what you can do to help, not when you can hold the baby. Come prepared to get your hands dirty with the maintenance of the house and family if you visit during the first few months.
Keep the advice to yourself unless specifically asked. Nothing can soil a relationship more quickly than a poorly timed or unwanted piece of grandparent “wisdom”. Please remember that every parent is doing the best they can. If you are asked your opinion or advice, be gentle.
No comparing kids. While it may seem tame to discuss how Daddy progressed quickly through potty training, stories of comparison can be perceived as insults to current parenting techniques. Keep stories fun and light, not boastful. If you have many grandkids, try to treat them all equally.
I know I and my family are very blessed. I hope you are too. It’s really tough to solicit the help you need in a subtle way. Feel free to show this post to your parents!
October 18, 2010
Well, full disclosure – I’m in my 24th week, I haven’t hit the actual 24 weeks down milestone. Usually I count from weeks completed, but this is exciting, so I’m giving in. Six months pregnant and looking like I’m about to pop. These twins are really making me enormous.
24 weeks, as you all know, is a significant milestone for baby viability. I don’t have any major concerns about my little monkeys coming early, or way early, were they to come now. But, it’s always great to get far along in your pregnancy and feel some sense of impending birth, doom, excitement, etc.
So here are my latest stats…
Weight gain: 24 lbs! Whoa! One pound more than last pregnancy. (40 weeks, 5 day singleton baby girl)
Girth: 42 inches, one inch more than last pregnancy.
Fundal height: 31 inches! That’s a healthy advantage over the 24″ I’d be if it were just one baby.
My doctor has given me the okay to ease off on my Ensure habit! It’s a little shocking to most people, but I was drinking up to 4 bottles of Ensure Plus every day in order to bulk up fast. Now I only have one in the middle of the night if I’m particularly hungry. They’re not terribly delicious, but also not as bad as you’d think. All the same, I’m happy to cut down on my daily requirements.
With twin pregnancies, the goal is to gain most of your weight in the first half of your pregnancy. This is because you never know when you’ll deliver and it’s of significant benefit to the babies to start out as heavy as possible. Twins also scrunch up the stomach even more than singletons, so soon I will just not have the stomach capacity for much food. If I have properly prepared the babies and my body, they can grow from here mostly on their own, adding fat and cuteness* along the way. *The babies, not my body. I could live without the added fat, thank you very much!
So here we are, 24 weeks. I’m feeling pretty good these days, just sleepy and exhausted as usual. I’m starting to plan the “help schedule” for the next few months. My mother and mother-in-law will both spend some significant time here in the months following delivery. This will be a huge help since we will be moving cross-country when the monkeys are 2 months old. My last move was with an 8 month old and was hectic because she was mobile. This move will be hectic because I’ll be so exhausted!
At a recent appointment with my OB and nurse midwife, my daughter was prescribed daycare! Unfortunately we haven’t had much success getting her into daycare yet, but she’s on the waitlist of every daycare in town. The time will come when I just can’t take care of her by myself. God forbid I’m put on bedrest! Lifting her into her crib, onto the changing table, carrying her up stairs, etc are too much even now and will only get harder.
Hearing that I have to put my firstborn in daycare was both upsetting and a bit liberating. I know I’m a good mommy and that she’s had a great foundation at home. She’ll probably do very well with the social aspects of daycare and will get used to it in no time. It’s also important that she start daycare before the twins arrive so she doesn’t associate their birth with her “banishment”! All that being said, I’m a stay-at-home mom and my identity as such pretty much depends on there being a child in the house! Oh well, it’ll be great to be able to nap at will, do some prenatal yoga and get the rest I’m desperately needing.
October 5, 2010
Twins are intriguing. They can be identical or fraternal and either both girls, boys or a combination thereof. The most common twin pair is fraternal boy/girl. You may not think so because you don’t notice them as frequently as you would identical twins or same sex twins. Did you know that Kiefer Sutherland has a twin sister and Scarlett Johansson has a twin brother?
Twin incidence has increased dramatically with the rise of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) and women waiting until they are older to give birth. Identical twins are still exceedingly rare despite that increase. As my extremely dry OB told me, “Identical twins are a birth defect. The egg is not supposed to divide.” Hmm, I hope I’m not having identical twins then, Doc!
Fraternal twins are the variety that run in my family and I did not receive fertility treatments or take any fertility enhancing medications. At previous ultrasounds, my doctor noted that my twins reside in separate amniotic sacs and have separate placentas – both evidence of fraternal twinning or an extremely early egg split.
My much anticipated anatomical ultrasound occurred on a day when my husband was busy, so I went alone. We have a daughter already and had been “trying” for a son this pregnancy (according to internet lore of positioning and sex timing according to ovulation). So, I was very much hoping that at least one baby was a boy.
The ultrasound tech had me booked for a full hour. There are so many things to measure and catalog in a singleton, twins only make things more difficult by being crowded and potentially pushy with each other. I made it clear I was hoping to find out the sexes and she didn’t make any guarantees, but said she’d try.
The first baby (Twin A – closest to my cervix) was very active and didn’t want to show any private parts right away. The tech made a bunch of measurements, found the necessary 4 chambered heart, stomach, brain, etc, etc before getting to the good stuff. After a good 25 minutes, it was determined that Twin A is a girl. I said, “Well I love girls, but I hope she has a brother in there.” We have a daughter and are thrilled for her to have a sister. It’s also nice that we already have a ton of girl clothes and won’t need to buy more!
With baby girl’s credentials established, the tech moved on to Twin B. Twin B was super chill, ready for all photos and measurements without a fuss. The tech immediately discovered this baby’s sex - a boy! He’s a boy and he’s not shy about it.
This was exactly as I’d hoped – one of each is just perfect. My sisters are my best friends and I wanted my daughter to have a sister. I also really wanted to have a son. Before I had my daughter I thought I only wanted boys. Girls are so complicated and boys seem easier by comparison. It also seals the deal on our family – we have both types and don’t need to add any more to the mix. A party of 5 we will be, just slightly estrogen dominated.
Now I just had to figure out a way to tell my husband the good news. We have a balloon magic helium tank for our daughter, so my mom suggested making blue and pink balloons. Of course he came home while I was in the middle of the process and didn’t quite get it at first, but soon enough he was ecstatic.
We are continually awed by this pregnancy, it’s amazing how in tune with my body I have been. I thought it was twins before they were confirmed and thought they were boy/girl as well. Luckily it’s just as I’d hoped! Now if I can convince them to deliver quickly and pain-free, I’ll be a genius.
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