Topic Archive: pregnancy

August 30, 2010

Not exactly “2 for the price of 1″

It’s difficult to keep strangers from commenting on your pregnancy, even when only expecting one baby.  When two are on the way, I’ve found that the tongues wag quite a bit more.

“Two for the price of one”

“Buy one get one free”

“Two the easy way”

Those are the comments that drive me batty.  When you are expecting twins, you’ll hear all of these and much more.  I’m not truly enormous yet, so I’m sure as things progress the pithy comments will take on a more sinister tone.  For now, I grin and bear it and wish the well-meaning strangers had a clue.

If only it were true…

Oh, if only I’d really get 2 for the price of 1!  That would mean I’d have a delightfully easy, blissful, healthy and sane pregnancy resulting in a delivery of epic happiness when 2 babies slipped into the world instead of just one.  In short, it’s not even close.

Twin pregnancies aren’t exactly grueling Everest climbs, but they are no stroll down smiley singleton lane either.  Perhaps it’s that my first pregnancy was a pretty mellow affair and my body just couldn’t live up to that ideal more than once.  I had a 9+ month respite from the migraines that have plagued me since puberty, I was well-rested and healthfully nourished, never hungover or addled from lack of sleep (until the last 4 weeks).

This time around I’m back in headache hell with no available meds.  My veins are bursting all over my body, so surely they are doing the same in my cranium.  Of course the pain and throbbing lead to sleep loss and general malaise, short-temper and decided lack of libido.

Dude, where’s my libido?

Oh how I miss the second trimester libido surge from pregnancy #1!  My husband and I were apart for the first 6 months of my last pregnancy with the exception of a 2-week romp in Hawaii.  It was the babymoon of my dreams.  He had a conference to attend, my job was to get a tan and get some sweet lovin’.  Needless to say, the first few weeks of this trimester haven’t been anywhere near so frisky.  I think my husband is probably more disappointed than I am this time around, but we were both looking forward to some good pregnancy sex.

I’m not even sure if it’s only the hormones.  Has anyone ever told you that you someday won’t recognize your own parts?  Didn’t happen to me until the very end last time.  Now I’m living with a stranger down below and I’m not happy about it — I’m swollen, smelly, strangely juicy and just not attractive.  What with weight gain, acne and the uncharted topography of my nether regions, it’s not easy to feel sexy.

Exhaustion certainly plays a big part as well – our 18 month old takes up all the “spare” energy I have.  And there’s something to be said for being “touched-out”.  I never gave it much credence before but when I spend all day hugging and loving my daughter, I don’t really feel the drive for physical affection with my husband.  It’s terrible and I need to do something about it, for both our sakes!

Measuring weeks ahead

As of this writing I’m 17 weeks pregnant with the twins.  My stomach is measuring a whopping 40″, about 11 inches more than pre-pregnancy.  I’ve gained 14 lbs and look to be 6 months along. Check out the comparison shots.  The one where I’m wearing the brown shirt is 22 weeks with singleton, the black shirt is 17 weeks with twins.  Yep, I look about 6 months now, don’t I?

It’s typical for moms of multiples to measure anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks ahead of schedule.  I read that, I understood that, I was prepared for that.  Until it happened.  It’s almost shocking to see myself in the mirror.  Last time, I didn’t really need maternity clothes until about 20 weeks.  Now the zippered-fly is a thing of the past, I’ve been in elastic waist heaven for months now.

What to wear?

Since I’m not planning on being pregnant again after this (famous last words, right?), I don’t want to buy any new maternity wear.  But dang, I was big so much earlier than the last time that I had to incorporate a whole new season of clothes. Thank goodness I’m living in America this time around and there are “Mommy and Me”-type consignment stores.  Nobody wants maternity clothes after a while!   I just hope I can make it to the end without having to raid my husband’s closet.  He’s a foot taller than I am, so it would be comical.  I guess leggings and muumuus will be my signature look.

Two for the price of what, exactly?

No one can tell you what exactly to expect from your pregnancy.  There are volumes printed on what could happen, but each pregnancy is different.  My twins will be loved regardless of all the crap I could complain about.  Truth is, I’ll be gushing like every other new mom in no time.

They are starting to move a lot more and that alone is such a thrill.  There’s something so magical about feeling your baby move in your belly.  I just loved feeling my daughter move and would poke her to get her going if she seemed to slow down.  I knew I’d miss it after she was born.  Now I have two little monkeys vying for space and figuring each other out.  I’m pretty sure there will be double pleasure in this pregnancy after all.

August 28, 2010

First Trimester: Singleton vs. Twin

While pregnant the first time a little over two years ago, I became hooked on PregTASTIC podcasts.  It was a lovely pregnancy with a delivery exactly as I’d hoped. My daughter, Maya, is just about 19 months old now.  I know we both benefited from the information and stories shared on PregTASTIC.

Fast forward and I’m pregnant again.  After one run at the mommy game, I figured I was an expert.  But that didn’t last long as I learned I’m expecting twins!  PregTASTIC hasn’t had much info on multiple pregnancies before, so I decided to stop being a casual listener and share my experience.

Here’s a run-down of the first trimester in both pregnancies.

Basics

Then: 31, married 3 yrs, living in Japan, part-time Fitness Instructor and English Tutor

Now: 33, married 5 yrs, living in Rhode Island, stay-at-home mother of 1 daughter.  If I make it to the full 40-week due date, my twins will be born the day before my daughter’s second birthday.

Conception

My husband is active duty Navy and deploys regularly.  Because we’d like him to be present for the birth of our children, we’ve had to plan when to try to conceive very carefully. Luckily I’m crazy fertile and our planning has been spot-on. 

Then: I was off the pill exactly one cycle. My husband had been at sea for a few months and happened to come home a couple days early, catching me in a good ovulation zone.

Now: I was off birth control exactly one cycle.  We had discussed trying for a boy this time and I did some research into what that could possibly entail. One of the suggestions was to maximize sex timing for ovulation, so I was using Ovulation Predictor Kits.  I found the day I was ovulating (or would be within 24 hrs) and the rest is history.

Getting Positive Result

Then: I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.  I left it in the bathroom and forgot about it.  When I came back a few hours later, there were two lines.  So, I took another test the following morning and had a positive within the appropriate results timeframe.  My husband and I were together for that test and were both excited about the results.  He left for the next 6 months that afternoon!

Now: I had been taking tests for about a week before I got the positive this time.  My husband and  were together for this one as well.

Symptoms

Then: Almost immediately, my breasts were huge!   I felt like I had jet lag and would collapse in the afternoon for a nice long nap. Some minor bleeding at about 6 weeks, but just brown blood which was determined to be no big deal, probably just implantation bleeding.

Now: No major breast size increase.  I was nauseous all day long, vomiting sporadically and highly sensitive to smell.  Almost everything made me gag.  I’ve never been so exhausted in my life, even in the first sleepless weeks of motherhood.  I’m not sure if it’s because I have to keep up with my toddler or just the double whammy of twins, but this time around I’m practically comatose.  Acne, vaginal discharge, body odor, gas, crabby attitude, headaches, absentmindedness, lightheadedness are all some of the lovely symptoms this time around!

First doctor’s appointments

Then: In Japan, there was only one OB to serve a very large population.  I didn’t meet her until she delivered my daughter!  So, I had my pregnancy followed by a number of different GPs in a very small clinic on base.  I was told to wait until 8 weeks along before coming in for the blood test and then my first ultrasound was at 10 weeks.

Now: There are no military OBs in my town, so I’m referred out to a local civilian OB practice.  My choice of provider is a Certified Nurse Midwife, whose practice also includes an OB.  I saw her when I was 7.5 weeks along, just after my positive blood test.  She has an ultrasound machine in the exam room and I’m thrilled to have a peek inside my uterus every visit!

OMG, I’m having WHAT??? My midwife spent a long time interviewing me about my first pregnancy and my medical history before we got to the ultrasound.  I told her how awful I’d been feeling and that I was just overwhelmed.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t much she could do to reassure me since some women deal with much worse and each pregnancy is different.  When I was having my ultrasound, she poked around for a while and found a baby.  I said, “Just one”?  She asked about my family history and I told her that there were twins on my mother’s side.  She said, “Well, there is another egg sac here, but that doesn’t automatically mean twins.”  Of course she found the other baby!  Both had healthy heartbeats and separate sacs, separate placentas, which is great for twins and likely means they are fraternal.

Breaking the twins news

My husband – like many men, kids and women who haven’t had children – had always thought twins would be super and openly wished that we’d have twins.  I thought one at a time would be just fine!  Clearly he got his way.  I was in shock, but also excited.  I knew he’d be thrilled and our families would be ecstatic.  So, I hurried home to tell him, armed with 3 ultrasound photos.  He met me in the house and we chatted about my appointment.  I showed him picture # 1 and said, “This is a picture of a baby” and did the same with picture #2.   And then I handed him the last shot of them both and said, “This is a picture of the two of them together!”  It had a fairly dramatic effect and we just kind of stared at each other laughing before we collapsed on our couch to contemplate the rest of our lives.  Oy, heady stuff!

Since I was already 7 weeks along and had seen the babies and their heartbeats, we decided to tell our families right away.  We had kept the pregnancy news from them, so this was a pretty big scoop.  We Skyped with our parents and called or emailed with the rest of our families.  Our local friends already knew I was pregnant — I like my wine, so when I stopped drinking it was fairly obvious — but we waited a few more weeks to tell other friends.

Weight gain, exercise

Then: I gained 2 lbs the first trimester and was able to keep teaching fitness classes without dropping my workload.

Now: I gained 8 lbs in the first 12 weeks and was discouraged from exercise other than walking.

Twinsights

This pregnancy has been much harder on me overall than the first.  There are times when I think our timing was a little too rushed and that it would have been nice to have a summer together and enjoy just being a 3-person family for a while.  Our lifestyle doesn’t allow for much rose-smelling, so to speak, and we are forced to plan things far in advance.  We’ll be a party of 5 before we know it and life will continue to present new challenges!

Initially I thought my second pregnancy would be sort of ho-hum and boring since I’d been through it and knew what to expect.  Ha!  No way is this ho-hum!  It’s nice to have something altogether different to learn about and research.  I have a totally different library this time and have soaked up as much “twinfo” as possible.  My care is vastly different as I’ll be followed by a team of OB professionals and have more frequent and intense monitoring.  It’s exciting to share the news – people are awed by twins and I’ve had so many pleasant reactions that I can’t help but feel better about the minor irritations of pregnancy.

Episode 167 | March 11, 2010

Baby Carriers. Find the perfect carrier for you!

Baby slings, wraps, pouches, oh my! The Maya, Moby, Baby Bjorn, Ergo, The Peanut shell… So many to choose from, but which carrier will suit you best? Will you be the only one using it? What’s your budget? And, will you carry your baby on your hip, in the front, or on your back? Vera Casey from babywearingsandiego.com is this weeks baby carrier expert.    (YOU CAN LISTEN/DOWNLOAD THE AUDIO PODCAST OR WATCH ON VIDEO)

June 14, 2009

The side of pregnancy you DON’T see advertised

This post does not include cute pastel colors, or butterflies, or fairies, or cutesie baby dolls, or dresses, or fuzzy stuffed animals. It is not about little feet, or baby hiccups in the womb, or cute little kicks.

This is me, alone (or semi-alone, since my unborn daughter is telling her mama that she is awake right now), in front of the computer at 3 am, after having woken up crying at 1:30 am.

This is the part of pregnancy people don’t tell you about when you sign up for it.

Pregnancy isn’t always about that woman who stares down at her belly lovingly, and dreams of all the things that she and her new baby will do. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done that. I’m not sure I would say I *love* my daughter, yet, though I know I certainly will, once she gets here. And perhaps that’s part of the reason I’m feeling the way I do, which is overwhelmed, alone, and not *right*. I mean, SHOULDN’T I be all about fluffy animals, and cutesie baby clothes, and nesting right now? I only have a little bit more than five weeks left. Shouldn’t I be eager and ready to meet my daughter? So why am I feeling all this crazy anxiety, why am I thinking that I *can* wait to see my daughter, why am I waking up with tears streaking down my face, why am I feeling like the biggest loser in the world because I should be happier than I am about my baby? It’s not like I haven’t been feeling all those things, the happy ones, I mean. It’s just that, the closer she gets to being here, the bigger the worries loom. The apartment feels too small, what will my three-year-old think, budget cuts and financial woes at work. And then, and then there’s the guilt that comes with not being 100% happy that I am having a baby, since all the world seems to tell me that I *should* be extremely happy, simply because I am pregnant, and babies are gifts. My pregnancy was planned. My husband and I want another child. I’m not sure why I am feeling the way I am, exactly. Perhaps a combination of life stress, and also pregnancy hormones. Some form of ante-partum depression apparently affects about 10-20% of women who are pregnant, though a lot of them do not get diagnosed properly because there is the age old image of the “hormonal pregnant lady” who had crazy mood swings and cries at the drop of a hat. I’m not even sure that I’m saying I’m depressed. I’m not sure anyone will understand what I’m going through, since the image of the wonderfully happy pregnant woman is extremely powerful, and perhaps people won’t understand why I would feel sad at all. I guess, I guess I just feel as though I should feel okay to have negative feelings during pregnancy, without feeling like I’m flying in the face of years of Gerber and Johnson and Johnson commercials, and this post is my way of telling myself that it will be okay.

Episode 128 | March 3, 2009

Christina’s Birthing Story

Christina’s back to share how her 2nd c-section compared to the first, anesthesia surprises, an over-the-curtain paparazzi dad, how she prepared her toddler for the baby and a Facebook baby name poll! Plus, the winner of the PregTASTIC Pregnancy Package! NEXT WEEK: Dr. Marjorie Greenfield, OB/GYN and author of The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book.

Episode 80 | January 21, 2008

Tips to Keep Your Pregnancy Worries at Bay

How do you keep pregnancy worries at bay? What are some tips to dealing with fears during the first trimester? How to have more ups than downs during pregnancy. And, Birth stats for 2006-has there really been a baby boom?

Episode 70 | October 9, 2007

From Dude to Dad

How can you help your partner go from DUDE to DAD? How can you make the baby more real to your husband? Do men really experience typical pregnancy symptoms? Guests: Authors Sandy and Marcie Jones together wrote two Great Expectations resource books: Your All-in-One Resource for Pregnancy and Childbirth, and Baby’s First Year.

Episode 69 | September 25, 2007

Pregnancy Tour Guide: Hospital Stats, Healthcare, Birth Plan Etiquette…

Tips to get what you want from your healthcare providers throughout your pregnancy and resources to help you uncover your hospital’s true standard of care. Plus, birth plan etiquette.