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New Year’s Reminders

Meagan Church — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:59:38 +0000

It’s the New Year and the traditional time to make resolutions. I’ll be honest, with the baby a month away, I’m not really looking to set steadfast goals. Would I like to write a book? Absolutely. Brush up on my French? Oui. Drop each and every pound of baby weight? I think that answer is pretty obvious. But, with this being my third baby, I know what lies ahead and I don’t want the pressure of caring for a newborn, while feeling guilty if I don’t have the energy to meet certain objectives. So, I’m not making resolutions this time around. Instead, I’m reminding myself of what I feel is important and desirable. And, so, my New Year’s reminders are as follows:

Finally settle on a baby girl name.
Have a natural birth with a healthy mom and baby.
Spend at least the first year nursing without complaining about the time commitment.
Read a lot, even if I’m tired from caring for a newborn.
Run. And feel blessed to be able to do it again.
Encourage a good sleep schedule for the baby, but don’t be beholden to it.
Be more flexible. And I’m not talking about touching my toes (though that would be nice, too).

What about you? Did you set any resolutions or reminders?

The Fidgety Fetus

Meagan Church — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 03:02:10 +0000

I just finished listening to PregTASTIC Episode 242: Epigenetics and the Science of Pregnancy. And I’m scared. What bothered me about the episode wasn’t the thought of how my choices and actions in pregnancy could affect the developing fetus. That can be frightening in and of itself. After all, that is a lot of pressure on the pregnant woman, making her feel as though she must exercise often, avoid eating too many hamburgers, keep the stress levels low, and so on. It could take mom guilt to a whole new level. But, what concerned me most was the discussion about how fidgety fetuses can turn out to be feisty kids.

My first two were fidgety enough in pregnancy and have turned out to have their fare share of feistiness. So, when I signed up for #3, it was with the unwritten understanding that this one would be that textbook baby that I’ve read about. I have heard that babies can be calm, relaxed, laid back and easy going. If in utero movement is any indicator, the existence of that textbook baby for our family will remain only in books. And I’m beginning to think those books are more of the fiction variety.

The statement that scared me most during the episode was when Jena Pincott, author of “Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?” said, “Researchers found the more fetuses kicked and fidgeted during pregnancy in response to a stimulus, the more excitable that baby was after birth.” As I said, my first two were active enough, but this one takes activity to a whole new level. This baby is known for not just little kicks and movements, but for breath-taking (literally) jolts and jumping jacks that make my stomach look like an alien is about to burst forth. I can hope this child is using its energy now and will be more relaxed once born. I know that probably won’t be the case, but as I chase after two active kiddos already, I need to hold on to that hope. For sanity’s sake, I need to think there is a possibility of having that textbook case. I know I will be faced with reality soon enough, but until then, a girl can dream, can’t she?

The Little Annoyances

Laura Vellema — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 07:01:12 +0000

When people ask me how I’m doing lately, their tone of voice tells me they are hoping for something dramatic like, “Oh, I’m just miserable! I have all sorts of strange cravings and symptoms and aches and pains!” But lately, now that morning sickness and fatigue are history, my reply has been “I’m doing great!” And it’s true. I feel the best I have since the pregnancy began. I’m 29 weeks as I write this, and although I’m now technically in the third trimester, I still feel like I’m in the honeymoon second trimester.

Nevermind the incurable heartburn. I can deal with it. And the sciatic pain and numbness? It could certainly be worse (and probably will be)! What about having to get up in the night to pee? It’s not so bad when I have snuggling back into my warm bed with my husband to look forward to each time. The stretch marks? They’re easy to hide. Pelvic pressure and shortness of breath? They’re merely reminders that my tiny son is getting bigger and his arrival closer! The excitement of the pregnancy totally overshadows the little annoyances at this point.

I hear that different parts of pregnancy are good preparation for parenthood. From what I’ve heard, the first three months of motherhood are bound to be challenging, just like the first trimester was or perhaps the third will be. And thereafter there are bound to be difficult times–we all go through them in life. But I imagine that everyday life as a mother will be much like the second trimester has been for me.

I’ll feel great. I won’t mind that my new shirt got spit up on, that grape juice got spilled on the carpet, that the baby had a blowout just as we were about to leave the house or that my little one awakened for the day at 5am. All those little things that would get me down in my pre-mother life will just roll off my back as a mother because the joy having children will totally overshadow the little annoyances.

At least I hope that’s how motherhood will be for me. Has this been the experience of all you new mothers out there?

The Ultrasound

Meagan Church — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 04:07:53 +0000

During my first two pregnancies, I viewed the ultrasound primarily as a way of finding out the baby’s gender. Sure, we also got to see the fuzzy little person growing inside. Plus we got to make sure he/she was growing and developing on schedule. But, that was all routine stuff, right? Just tell me if it’s a boy or girl! Then I had a cousin who during her second pregnancy last year got news she wasn’t anticipating during her “routine” ultrasound. She learned that her baby had multiple birth defects. Suddenly the simple scan was anything but routine.

That ultrasound led to a variety of tests and further scans. The baby was diagnosed with different birth defects, including a congenital heart defect. She was born a few months later at Riley Children’s Hospital, a few hours away from home. She came out fighting and made it through some surgeries, but a few short weeks into her life, she took her last breath. Before she ever got to go home. Before her mom got to spend hours holding her, rocking her, nursing her to sleep, smelling her little baby skin.

So as the date of my ultrasound for baby #3 approached, I began to feel uncertain. Would this just be routine? Would everything look okay? Would our lives be forever changed by what we saw on that computer screen? Of course we still hoped to discover the baby’s gender, but more importantly, we hoped to discover a completely healthy baby. And thankfully that’s what we saw.

As for the gender, well, that’s still up for debate. Though we could see all organs and limbs in fine working order, the baby decided to be a bit stubborn and protective. The tech looked for quite a while to see if we would be adding another little girl or boy to the family. Her search ended with not 100% certainty, but a more-than-likely response: it’s a girl.

Birth Fear

Meagan Church — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 19:53:41 +0000

This is pregnancy #3 for me. I should be an old pro by now, right? Perhaps that is true in certain regards, but in other ways, I’m not sure any woman will ever feel like a pro when it comes to birth. Even after labor and delivery twice before, and having two pretty ideal experiences, I still have a few fears. What’s the biggest one? That my luck has run out.

I know they say the third time is the charm, but with kids, anything goes. Before even becoming pregnant with this one, I wondered if I would be pressing my luck with another delivery. I’ve experienced two natural births that have been quite low on interventions. And I’m very pleased with that fact. Still I can’t help but wonder how this one will go. Will I be able to once again avoid the interventions I fear? Will I make it through this delivery without a c-section?

Part of my fear comes from #2’s positioning. I had horrendous back labor because she was sunnyside up until minutes before crowning. Thankfully my midwife knew a move that corrected her position. Back labor ended and she was born. I know that once a woman labors with a baby in that position, her likelihood of that happening again increases. If so, I hope that same maneuver convinces this one to flip as well. But who knows; this one might never be in that position. This one might be ready for an even speedier exit than #2…an exit that nearly happened before my midwife made it to the hospital. Which brings me to fear #2.

What if this one comes too quickly? With #1, my labor stalled the minute I walked through the hospital doors. Now I have a better understanding of the progression of labor and the sphincter law (as Ina May Gaskin calls it), which is why I waited to go to the hospital with #2. I know the longer a woman labors in a hospital, the more likely interventions will be. So, when hard labor started, I got out the exercise ball and bounced through them in the comfort of my living room. When the breaks between contractions were becoming non-existent, we left for the hospital. It’s a good thing we didn’t wait any longer; she was born within an hour from the time we entered the hospital.

Having experienced back labor with both kids, my midwife says that if this one is in a good position, I might not have back labor. And then I might not even know I’m in actual labor. While I do enjoy the thought of not experiencing that horrible back pain, I’m not sure how I feel about an unexpected home…or car…birth. Perhaps my husband should start looking into birthing techniques.

So what do I do about these fears? The only thing I know to do. Read and research. Throughout the years I’ve taken in a plethora of birth stories, talked to doulas and midwives, listened to countless podcasts, read a fair amount of books and attended a birthing class. I’ve come up with my personal birth philosophy thanks to the knowledge I’ve collected, so perhaps the most important thing I’ve done was to find a care provider that will respect that. I have a midwife I know and admire. I have confidence in her abilities. But more important than her abilities are my own. I know I’ve done this twice before. I know things can always happen or go wrong. Twists in the journey can pop up unexpectedly, but I believe self-confidence goes a long ways.

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Listen to PregTASTIC, Episode 230 to learn more about the Top 10 Labor and Delivery Fears many women experience.

What I Would Tell My Pre-Kid Self

Meagan Church — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 06:21:06 +0000

I came across a video called “Reflections of Motherhood” where they asked moms, if it were possible to go back to before having their first child, what would they tell themselves? And so I wondered, what would I tell myself?

I admit that before having kids, the thought of motherhood scared me. Mainly because I was happy with the person I was and the path I was traveling through life…for the most part. Why did I want to shake things up? Especially when the examples of moms I saw on TV, in the movies and in magazines were stereotypes of over-tired, over-worked, over-worried women who had forgotten themselves, and were consumed by their children and the fruitless efforts of attempting a “balanced” life. These moms seemed like simple and flat caricatures of women. I did not want to become one of them.

And so my journey to motherhood began with a healthy dose of fear and trepidation. Those concerns had nothing to do with the pregnancy, or labor and delivery portion. Instead my fears started with what happened after the delivery pains stopped. How I would soothe a newborn? What would I do with a baby in my house by myself all day long? Would I still be able to write? What if I traded in NPR for Barney? What if I no longer recognized myself? Who would I become?

So what would I tell my pre-mom self?

Don’t be afraid of how motherhood will change you.

Stay true to your core and there’s nothing to fear.

Babies aren’t as frightening as they may appear.

Every stage passes more quickly than you think it will.

Trust yourself.

Give yourself time to find your rhythm.

It takes a village of support.

Those caricatures aren’t as flat as you may have assumed.

What would you say?

Due Month Vs. Due Date

Meagan Church — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 07:35:57 +0000

One of the first questions people ask when they find out I’m pregnant is, “So, what’s your due date?” My response isn’t a precise time as to when the little one will be joining us. Instead, I like to leave it with a vague, “The beginning of February.” That usually creates a pause in the conversation before they start telling us all the February birthdays they know. If you want to get technical, my due date is at the very end of January, but I’ve learned a few things since having two kids and one of those is that a due date is better expressed in vague terms. According to my history, a due month is the more appropriate way to anticipate their arrival.

You see, I was 10 days “overdue” with my first before he decided to enter the world. Honestly, I was completely okay with him taking his time. He didn’t require feedings or diaper changes and was more portable as he was. But, our friends and family were not okay with his decision to take it slow and soon we considered changing our answering machine message to say, “No, he hasn’t been born yet. We’ll let you know when he is.”

With number two, we took more of the birth month philosophy and tried not to talk up the actual due date quite as much. We dreaded having to hear “So, you’re still pregnant?” countless times. Thankfully she was a bit speedier coming only six days “post-due.” Both arrived healthy, happy and right on time for them.

So we’ll see what number three wants to do. Maybe he/she will surprise us all with an “early” arrival. Or perhaps this one will rival his/her older brother at taking his/her sweet time in joining us. Whatever happens, we’ll try to relax, enjoy a few quiet nights and let him/her choose the appropriate date.

How about you? Did your little one arrive on date or was “on month” more appropriate?

Sex During and After Pregnancy

admin — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 06:39:34 +0000

We’re having a no holds barred conversation about intimacy during and after your pregnancy. What positions typically work best to accommodate your growing belly? How can you feel sexy again after giving birth? Do kegels really help? What about incontinence issues and episiotomy scars? Dr. David Ghozland, OB/GYN, shares some tips on how to dramatic improve your sex life during this important time.

In this episode: Sunny (host), Mercedes and Kerri
Special Guest: Dr. David Ghozland, OB/GYN, http://www.rejuvenicla.com

Kerri, Dr. Ghozland, Sunny, Mercedes

Pregnancy Ups and Downs

admin — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 09:33:31 +0000

Everything changes with pregnancy. Your body changes. Your relationship changes. Your life changes. Many of these changes are exciting… and some, well, not so much. Our PregTASTIC panelists share their most recent pregnancy ups and downs, plus listeners submit their questions to our panel and a special guest call-in from Philadelphia.

If you’d like to be a special guest call-in, visit our PregTASTIC forum and share your most recent Ups and Downs. You can also post them on our facebook fan page, twitter or create a video and upload it to youtube! If you have a pregnancy symptom you’d like our panelists to discuss, simply contact us through the link on our website.

In this episode: Sunny (host), Jane, Jenn, Deborah, Theresa, Jenna and Rachel (skype call-in).

Sunny, Jenna and Theresa

Jenna

Royce and Jenn

T-Minus 10 Weeks and Counting

Lyssa Hurst — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 00:28:20 +0000

All the time in the world…
It was a cold day at the end of winter when I learned I was pregnant, November felt like a lifetime away. Barely into spring, I would also have to get through a whole summer and most of fall until we could welcome this little one into our family.

The early months of my pregnancy were pleasantly uneventful and life didn’t change much. We actually didn’t think about it too much as we were fearful of another miscarriage and complications. After our ultrasound at 21weeks, we were able to really breathe a sigh of relief and talk and think about this baby boy with more excitement.

Life marches on…
With our first child, I had nothing better to do than prepare for and think about having a baby. That’s a luxury not afforded to subsequent pregnancies. My son is 5 and just started kindergarten–we had a very busy summer preparing for this, having a fun summer and squeezing in a family vacation before our lives change in so many ways. I am also a working mom and have had to add more hours to my part-time schedule in order to qualify for maternity leave–not to mention the fact that my job in general is busier and more involved now than it was when I was pregnant with my first son.

Poof! Where did the time go?
So here we are–only 10 weeks to go and I feel like I am careening down a roller coaster drop with life flying past in an out-of-focus blur. There is so much to be done–where is the baby going to sleep? His room is nowhere near ready. What did I do with that box of maternity clothing I haven’t needed until now? Our baby equipment is 5 years old–we have to check for recalls and clean everything. Of course, this is all in addition to the daily tasks and commitments which seem to be growing exponentially–only now I have far less energy and focus!

Still, baby Teague is on the way whether we are ready or not. It’s another opportunity to learn how to “stop sweating the small stuff”. I look forward to that third trimester burst of nesting energy and maternity leave! This is going to be our last child and we plan to enjoy every moment with him–whether or not the nursery is completed.